Is there anything more motivating than new shoes?

Because my hips were so weak, when I went in to the fancy pants running store to get fitted for shoes last spring, I was told I was a severe over-pronator. That meant that my feet tended to collapse in when I ran. The kind folks at Riverside Runners hooked me up with some sweet Brooks that corrected my over-pronation woes and I was on my way. I loved those shoes. They made me feel like a real runner. They felt good on my feet. And they resolved a lot of the joint problems I was experiencing at the time. Then I got hurt. I went to physical therapy. And I was told that there was nothing wrong with the pronation in my feet - all the weakness was coming from my hips and that I should be wearing a neutral shoe and working on strengthening my hips. That was several months ago.

Now that I'm starting to be able to run consistently again, I thought it was about time to actually follow the advice of my therapist. So on Saturday, cash in hand, I went back to the running store to find a new pair of shoes.

After explaining my situation and challenges to the saleswoman (the girl who helped me the very first time I bought shoes there!), I ended up trying on six different pairs of shoes. Out of all of those shoes (all sized for wide feet!), there was exactly one pair that did not rub against the little toes of my left foot. And based on that fact alone, I am now the proud owner of some sort of Saucony shoes that look an awful lot like my Brooks.

I finally got a chance to try them out this morning. So far, so good!

And hey, if nothing else, dropping $100 on new shoes in and of itself will motivate me to get out the door for a while!

Self-Defeating

I'm going to be honest. The last two weeks have sucked for me. I think I've lost my initial excitement about being able to run in the struggle to figure out how I'm going to be able to work it into my daily life. Here's the problem:

I cannot run inside on a treadmill. I hate it. It feels like a death sentence to me.

I'm not sure if it's a good idea to try to start running in my neighborhood yet. My neighborhood is very hilly, which can exacerbate any weaknesses I still have. Also, in order to run in my neighborhood, I would primarily have to run on sidewalks, which are much harder than asphalt. That could also exacerbate any joint problems I already have.

I CAN run on the bike trail downtown - it's flat and the surface is asphalt. BUT I'm not going to run on it when it's dark for safety reasons and I can only get there during daylight hours on the weekends.

So what are my options?

I could just try running in my neighborhood to see how it goes. Maybe it won't hurt as long as I keep the runs short and don't go every day. I could try running around the office where I work. It's relatively flat, but I'd still have the sidewalk issue. I could try running around a track, but I honestly think that will result in the same problem I have with the treadmill. I could also just focus on walking during the week and save running for the weekends. I don't really want to do that, though - I'm trying to build up my strength and endurance which means I need to start building up my mileage.

These are just excuses. If I'm really committed to running, I'm going to make it work one way or another. This morning I woke up and confessed to God that I've been lazy, discouraged, and living in fear. I'm hoping to turn this around.

I will run tomorrow.

The rhythm of running

I have a confession. I'm in a rut. I was so excited to be able to start running again, but I'm having trouble finding my rhythm again. I think a lot of it has to do with the amount of planning and preparation it takes to go on a run now.

Before I got injured, I would basically put on my shoes and walk out the front door. That was it. If it was a short run, I could take Abby with me and she would get some good exercise in with me. Otherwise, I would take her on a short walk first, drop her off at the house, and go on my way. It's not that easy any more, though.

First of all, I have to do a lot more to maintain my body in a condition where I'm able to run. In addition to time spent running, I have to spend time doing core strengthening and stretching and resting and icing. Second, I can't just walk out my door and go on a run because my neighborhood is too hilly. I have to drive somewhere else, somewhere mostly flat with no downhills. Because of the inconvenience imposed, I've found it difficult to get back into a routine.

I'm thankful that we have some nice bike trails in the area so I'm not completely confined to a treadmill, but I'm smart enough to know that running those trails alone when it's dark is a bad idea. So during the week, I'm largely stuck running on a treadmill, which mostly feels like torture for me.

I think a lot of the struggle I'm having right now is centered around the fact that I don't have a clear plan. I know I want to be healthy enough to start training for a marathon later this year, and I think I will be considering I ran five miles yesterday. But I don't have a specific schedule laid out right now that I'm trying to follow. My goal for this week will be to develop a schedule so I have some structure.

The initial thought I'm having is to stick to the trails and treadmill until I'm regularly running 6 miles or so without pain. Then I can start incorporating neighborhood and hill workouts into my schedule once or twice a week. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable running down hills again, but I can always walk those if I need to.

I need to try to remember that this situation is only temporary. By being conservative now, I set myself up for long-term success, which is the most important goal. I'm just tired of not being completely, 100% myself. I'm tired of all these restrictions. I'm looking forward to finding my rhythm again.

Out Of Control

I went a whole week with very limited sugar intake. And it honestly wasn't that difficult. At the end of the week, even though I wasn't particularly craving anything sugary or desserty, I broke the fast with some frozen yogurt. It was delicious. But I felt like I had opened Pandora's Box by eating that small bowl of chocolate and peanut butter sugary sweetness.

The week after the fast ended was awful. I started craving sugar to an extent where I did not experience any form of satiation. I just wanted more and more of it. And I came to a hard realization - for right now, it's not something that I can allow myself to have.

I whole-heartedly believe that when people are taking steps to change their eating behaviors, eating plans based on deprivation are bad ideas. Mostly because deprivation leads to binge-eating those things of which you are depriving yourself, which leads to guilt, which leads to self-sabotage. However, those of us that have been successful in any sort of weight loss program over the long-term also know that it's really important to identify trigger foods.

Unfortunately for me, pretty much anything that falls into the "sugary" category is a trigger food: cake, candy, chocolate, cookies, ice cream, etc. It doesn't matter - I crave it all, and once I have a little, I want more. And if I can't have something sugary, then I'll just start mindlessly eating in general.

I have to accept that for me, for right now, I'm better off without it. Not just because of my efforts to manage my weight, but also for my health in general. I just don't feel as good when I'm eating lots of sugar. My energy level is down, my blood sugar is all over the place, I have headaches, and I'm tired constantly.

Maybe one day I'll be able to eat a cookie or two after dinner at a friend's house and be satisfied, or buy a quart of ice cream and not constantly think about eating it, but I'm not there right now.

Marathon Training

I know I already posted that I went ahead and registered for the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon, but because the general registration has been opened and the marathon has already sold out, it's time for another post about my marathon running plans.

Prior to recent events, I was very tentative about the idea of being able to train and participate in a 2011 marathon. I wasn't sure if my body was up to it or if my knee would recuperate quickly enough for that to be a real possibility. I realize that I need to take my recovery slow and not push my body too hard, at least not yet, but I'm much more optimistic that this will be the year I officially become a marathon runner.

I've run several two mile runs with no lasting pain. Of course, these runs have been on very flat terrain or treadmills with a 1.0% incline, but it's two more miles than I could run six months ago. The previous training schedule I used was a 20-week schedule and it picked up where a runner could comfortable run 6 miles. I'll need to start following the training schedule mid-June. That means that by about the end of May I need to comfortably be able to run six miles. That's three months. I think it's realistic.

The Marine Corps Marathon is unique in that it is the third or fourth largest marathon in the U.S. and it is THE largest marathon that doesn't offer a cash prize to the winners. Because of this, it has been nicknamed "The People's Marathon." I think that's appropriate. The people that choose to run the MCM really have nothing to gain (well, maybe going for the BQ time?) other than pride in accomplishing a goal alongside thousands of other participants.

Competitive runners sometimes cringe at amateur runners like myself participating in marathons. My goal is not to win, my goal is merely to finish. Does it disrespect the sport? I don't think so. I think it creates a lot more respect. It's one thing to be able to survive running 26.2 miles - it's another thing to maintain a pace of 5:45 per mile the entire way, something I don't think I'll even be able to do for a single mile in my lifetime. I don't think mere participation in a marathon disrespects running any more than playing a recreational softball team disrespects professional baseball. We're not all going to be all-star athletes, but isn't the important thing that we can share enjoyment of a sport at our individual levels?

I'm looking forward to running my first marathon with thousands of other people that just want to finish. If I decide to do it a second time (and if my body will allow it), maybe I'll consider adding a little more competition into the mix!