Are you tough enough?

I've been having a tough time getting back on track with my running schedule and establishing a healthy plan. Every time I think I may be having a breakthrough, I end up taking one big huge gigantic leap backwards. It sucks.

This weekend was no exception. I'm not going to get into any details, but the idea of giving up just seemed to overwhelm me. My head was full of thoughts like "it's no use," "you're not going to accomplish your goals," "you're too weak," etc. So understandably, I went into my work outs and the week believing these lies.

As a result, I've been struggling. I tried to run twice earlier this week. Both times, I've gotten a short distance away from home and gave up. It doesn't make sense that I can go from running 9 and 10 miles to struggling to run 3 or 4 less than a week later, but that's the power of the mind, for you.

To overcome the struggle, I have to understand and acknowledge these lies for what they are and who they come from. They come from Satan, and they are his attempts to prevent me from glorifying God.

One of the things I learned as I started to run, and then become serious about training for longer distances, was that if left to my own devices, I would not choose to take care of myself. I had to learn that it was not my strength, but strength from the Lord that would sustain me, in a very real, physical way. As I would run up a tough hill or be on the last leg of a long run, when I would want to give up, I would pray that the joy of the Lord would be my strength.

I think recently, in the midst of these struggles, I lost sight of that. I was drawing on my own power, instead of leaning on Lord's strength, and my power wasn't enough to sustain me.

I managed to get a shaky 4.4 mile run in this morning. Not my best run, not an easy run, but I accomplished the goal that was set before me for this morning. About a mile in, the song "Hangin' Tough" by the New Kids on the Block started playing on my iPod. The song asks, "Are you tough enough?" By myself, I'm not. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

It's not the heat, it's the humidity

Last week was slightly better than the previous week for me. I did two mid-week runs of four miles each, and then I had a very exciting long run on Sunday, which is what the bulk of this post will be about.

I am currently four weeks away from when I will start my formal marathon training. I'm going to use the same training schedule I used last year, I just will be running different routes (with fewer hills) and walking down any major hills that I may chance to encounter. I had a lot of doubts regarding whether or not I'd be ready to start training, but I am happy to tell you that those doubts have now been assuaged.

I was a little concerned that I would not be able to get a long run in this weekend because the weather forecast kept calling for storms all day Saturday AND Sunday. But when I woke up Sunday morning, the sky was clear and the sun was peaking out, so I brought my running clothes to church and made plans to go directly afterwards.

I got to the bike trail at about 10:30 am - I was thinking I would try to get in about eight miles, so I decided on a route and set off. The route I had chosen was a little more than seven miles, so I needed to add another detour on to make up the additional mile. I picked up a side trail that was about 1.2 miles to the end. I figured I could always just stop a mile from where I parked and walk back to the car. But it turns out I didn't have to walk. I ended up running 9.6 miles!

Because we were between thunderstorms, it was incredibly humid. I was drenched in sweat within half a mile probably. I also forgot about certain things I need to think about when it comes to long runs. 1) I really need to use vaseline on certain areas of my body to prevent chafing. It's usually just a problem where clothes rub certain ways, but it'll do me good to remember that in the future. 2) I have the hardest time eating anything for several hours afterwards. Fortunately for me, I didn't have a problem eating an excess of calories the previous day, so even though my consumption was light yesterday, I had plenty of fuel for my system. :)

The best part is that although my knee was sore yesterday, I woke up this morning with NO PAIN! I'm still going to be cautious with my training, but it looks like I may be able to accomplish my marathon completion goal this year. It's nice to have hope again!

Committing

I have a confession, friends. I have not been fully committed to regular runs, strength training, or a healthy nutrition plan. I've been running, I've been trying to eat well, but I haven't been committed. My efforts have been very half-hearted. Enough to keep me going, but not enough to help me progress in my goals. This has to change.


The biggest problem is that I haven't really been planning. I might make a loose plan ("I think I'm going to try..."), but nothing I've fully thought out, and therefore, nothing I've stuck to. I've let myself derail on my diet a number of times more than I can readily recall. It's been frustrating and discouraging, and I've wanted to throw in the towel so many times. The only reason I haven't is because I know what the outcome will be: 224 pounds.


I'm going into the upcoming week with a plan. 1) I will get up early each morning. I will run the neighborhood route on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I will walk a shorter route on Tuesday and Thursday. 2) I will go to the bike trail Saturday and get a long-ish run in. 3) I will not use social occasions as permission to indulge in foods that will not help me meet my goals. I'm going to dinner and frozen yogurt with some friends this weekend. I have already let one of them know what I am eating for dinner and that I will be passing on the frozen yogurt. It sucks that I have to rely on telling someone else to keep me accountability, but that's my reality right now, so there you have it. 4) I will NOT continue to give in to unplanned indulgences. I don't have any specific mechanism in place to accomplish this, but I am bound and determined to beat this behavior.


The good news is that I have fully committed to a half marathon in September and a full marathon in October. I know I'm capable of taking better care of myself than I have been, I just need to tap back into that will-power to move forward.

Marathon Training

I know I already posted that I went ahead and registered for the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon, but because the general registration has been opened and the marathon has already sold out, it's time for another post about my marathon running plans.

Prior to recent events, I was very tentative about the idea of being able to train and participate in a 2011 marathon. I wasn't sure if my body was up to it or if my knee would recuperate quickly enough for that to be a real possibility. I realize that I need to take my recovery slow and not push my body too hard, at least not yet, but I'm much more optimistic that this will be the year I officially become a marathon runner.

I've run several two mile runs with no lasting pain. Of course, these runs have been on very flat terrain or treadmills with a 1.0% incline, but it's two more miles than I could run six months ago. The previous training schedule I used was a 20-week schedule and it picked up where a runner could comfortable run 6 miles. I'll need to start following the training schedule mid-June. That means that by about the end of May I need to comfortably be able to run six miles. That's three months. I think it's realistic.

The Marine Corps Marathon is unique in that it is the third or fourth largest marathon in the U.S. and it is THE largest marathon that doesn't offer a cash prize to the winners. Because of this, it has been nicknamed "The People's Marathon." I think that's appropriate. The people that choose to run the MCM really have nothing to gain (well, maybe going for the BQ time?) other than pride in accomplishing a goal alongside thousands of other participants.

Competitive runners sometimes cringe at amateur runners like myself participating in marathons. My goal is not to win, my goal is merely to finish. Does it disrespect the sport? I don't think so. I think it creates a lot more respect. It's one thing to be able to survive running 26.2 miles - it's another thing to maintain a pace of 5:45 per mile the entire way, something I don't think I'll even be able to do for a single mile in my lifetime. I don't think mere participation in a marathon disrespects running any more than playing a recreational softball team disrespects professional baseball. We're not all going to be all-star athletes, but isn't the important thing that we can share enjoyment of a sport at our individual levels?

I'm looking forward to running my first marathon with thousands of other people that just want to finish. If I decide to do it a second time (and if my body will allow it), maybe I'll consider adding a little more competition into the mix!

Decision Time!

I got an email two days ago that makes me very excited and apprehensive at the same time. The email was from the Marine Corps Marathon and it was my deferment letter. Since I got hurt last year and couldn't run, I had the option to defer my registration until the next year. Well, the next year's now here!

My PT is going very well, but I still haven't run since September of last year, and I don't know how long it's going to be before I can start running again. Is it possible that I can go from 0 to 26.2 in ten months? What about nine months? Eight? And perhaps the more important question: Is it safe for me to attempt this again so soon after my surgery?

My goal is definitely to avoid making the same mistakes this time around. When I start running again, I want to be smart and healthy about it. I'm already working towards that goal with the work I'm doing in PT. I know a marathon is in my future, but is it in my future for 2011?

I sure hope so. On January 19, I'm registering for the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon.

It all started when...

Most of my close friends know that I've gone through a major transformation in the last year and a half. I've struggled for most of my adult life with weight management. In the summer of 2009, I started Weight Watchers and also started running again (I picked up running off and on since I was in college). Over the course of about six months, I had lost 65 or so pounds and to my surprise, was actually sticking to a regular running regimen for a period of more than just a couple of months. I felt amazing, and I was enjoying the benefits of having a strong, healthy body for the first time since high school.

When I began running in 2009, my initial goal was to build up my stamina to run the Virginia 10-Miler in September of 2010. It seemed like a lofty goal when I could barely run half a mile without getting winded. I was surprised at how quickly my body was able to build up stamina, though, and I ended up running a 10-Miler in April of 2010. With that goal behind me, and with the entire summer to train, I set my sights on a much loftier goal: a marathon in October 2010.

I did my research, downloaded my training schedule, and stuck it to the refrigerator. I was doing great - sticking to my workouts, getting my long-runs in, focusing on my nutrition. For three months, I adhered to my schedule, building my long runs up to 18 miles, and I realized that I was going to be able to run 26.2 miles in another two months. I felt amazing!

Well, I mostly felt amazing. My right knee was the exception. I started noticing the pain when I was running down a big hill one day on a 10-mile run. Not a big deal - aches and pains are normal when you're putting that kind of strain on your body. I came home, took a few advil, and took it easy for the rest of the day.

The next day I went running again, and got the same pain in my knee. I cut my run short and came home and took some advil. I took it easy for a few days, thinking I would be fine after some rest. I didn't want to miss any long-runs, though, so at the end of the week, I laced up my shoes, grabbed my water bottle, and headed out the door for a 19-mile run. Eight miles in, the pain came back, but I kept going. That was the last time I was able to run.

After that, I tried again a few times, but the pain came back after about a mile and I would have to stop and go home. I knew it was a problem with my IT band, so I made an appointment with the orthopeodic center and they confirmed my fears. The marathon was out and running was on hold.

I worked with an amazing physical therapist for a month. Although I was following the program she created for me, I wasn't experiencing the relief I was looking for. After that, the doctor tried a cortizone shot - it worked for a couple of weeks, then all of a sudden, the pain increased. I couldn't walk down stairs, walk around the block, or even swim without pain in my knee.

I ended up stopping all forms of exercise - everything hurt! It was incredibly frustrating and I could feel myself slipping into a mild depression. I'm very goal-oriented, and I felt a little lost without a specific goal to be working towards. I also felt myself slipping back into my old eating habits. I struggled to keep off the weight I lost, but I still started putting a few pounds back on. I was terrified that without my ability to run and exercise, I would regain all the weight I had worked so hard to lose.

I went back to the doctor and he told me the one thing I didn't want to hear: my injury was going to require surgery. As much as I was looking forward to experiencing relief from the pain, I was also very nervous. Surgery was my last hope - if this didn't work, I was out of options.

With a lump in my stomach and barely holding back tears, I walked to the scheduling center and set the date.