Rest for the Weary

I'm going to be honest. I'm a little cranky this morning. I've been having problems with my neighbor's dog. It barked incessantly from the time I got home at 9:30 pm until I eventually fell asleep with a pillow held over my head around midnight. Turns out that even though it's a violation of the local noise ordinance, the police can't charge anyone with anything if no one's home to sign for the violation. So that meant I went to bed last night listening to the soothing sound of a large dog barking.

I have to make a confession. I haven't done any type of physical activity since Sunday. That includes my PT. I've been tired and my knee's been hurting. I took Abby (my dog) for a long walk on Sunday morning after church, and my knee hurt all day afterwards. So I decided to take a little break, give my knee some rest, and diligently applied ice. It's still a little achey, but the pain has dissipated significantly. I have a feeling that it's a result of the inclines and declines, as small as they are. My neighborhood is not exactly flat, and the slopes exacerbate any problems. So for right now it looks like I'm sticking to tracks and the treadmill which means Abigail doesn't get to go on anymore long walks for the time being.

I'm planning on heading to the gym tonight after work. I really, really need to get back into a regular PT and strength-training routine. I feel okay about taking a few days off. I was getting frustrated by not seeing the results and my schedule was wearing on me. It's tough to get up at 4:30 am, especially when the neighbor's dog is keeping me up well past my normal bedtime. But I can't let that become a habit. I've been struggling with my knee problems for too long to give up now. Six months, in fact. I haven't been able to run since September 2010.

A few weeks ago, one of my Bible Study Fellowship questions asked about an area in your life where you were feeling exhausted by trying to control a situation. For me, this is it. I'm tired of getting up early, of being stuck in a gym instead of pounding the pavement, of feeling self-conscious about spending 45 minutes on a floor mat in the back of the fitness center at the Y, of being sore, of not being able to function normally. I'm tired of the monotony and tediousness of my PT.

The solution? Don't try to control the situation - trust God with it. I can't control when my body will be healed, or even if it will be healed. All I can do is continue to do the PT and trust God with the outcome. I'm still going to be tired, and I'm still going to get frustrated from time to time, but I have the source of infinite power to draw strength from. When my energy is depleted, I can rest in the arms of a loving God who loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me. All of me. Even my knee.