This weekend, I had the opportunity to travel to Philadelphia to catch up with an old friend and run my first half marathon. To be honest, this wasn't a race I was super excited about. I mean, I wasn't dreading it, but this was never really my goal race; it just fit nicely into my training schedule and was a good opportunity to take a mini-vacation. However, I still wanted to do my best.
There was a pretty major hitch in my plans starting the week of the race. Namely, I got sick. Not the worst of illnesses in the whole world, but I did come down with a virus that's being passed around which left me congested, tired, and with a killer sore throat. But I'd already committed to a weekend in Philly, and paid the exorbitant entrance fee, so I sucked it up and planned on completing the race regardless of how I was feeling.
The day before the race was awful - I didn't sleep well the night before and that was when the worst of my sinus pressure and congestion hit me. After spending the morning at the exhibit hall and then spending the afternoon touring Philadelphia, Cristin and I headed back to the hotel to rest for a little while. I ended up falling asleep and woke up feeling like I was hit by a truck. I took a super hot shower, which helped clear things up, but it wasn't looking good going into the race the next morning.
I had been praying that the Lord would grant me improved health by Sunday morning, and sure enough, I woke up feeling much, much better, but nowhere close to 100%. We got up early, ate a healthy breakfast, and then headed over to take pictures at the Rocky statue and run up the art museum steps before the race. Then we slowly made our way into our corral and waited until they let us start the race.
I started running and quickly sunk into a comfortable 10:30 mm pace. It was a little quicker than I'd been running, but it was a nice, cool morning, and the race route was really flat. I didn't feel like I was pushing myself too hard, so I just trusted my effort level. I was able to keep up that pace for the first half of the race, still feeling strong. My throat hurt, and I felt like my head was in a cloud - I had no awareness whatsoever of anything around me - but I felt good breathing-wise and leg-wise. At about the 9-mile mark, things started going downhill.
Runners know that a large portion of the ability to perform in races is having the mental toughness to push yourself when you want to quit. Probably because I had been sick and hadn't been sleeping well, my willpower was just not all there. Just before I hit the mile 10 marker, I stopped to take a break. The break ended up lasting 2 miles. I am pleased to say that I did pull it together to run in the last mile, and I ended up coming in right at 2 hours and 30 minutes. Had I been able to just slow down a little and jog those two miles, I probably would've made it in 2:22, but at least I'll know what I'm capable of for my next half-marathon.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
One year ago
Yesterday I finished my long run for the week. It was 11 miles. This is not an overly challenging distance for me. I was running 11 mile long runs prior to even starting official marathon training. In some ways, it makes me feel like I'm stuck in limbo; like I'm not actually progressing towards my goal of finishing a 26.2 mile race. And then I think of where I was a year ago.
One year ago, I had experienced the first twinging in my knee. One year ago, I was running distances of 10 miles multiple days in a row. One year ago, I finished a long run of 18.7 miles on a knee that started hurting 4 miles in. One year ago, I set myself to be hurt to the point that my knee needed surgery and I wouldn't be able to run at all for many months.
A few weeks ago, I started getting nervous about the emphasis that my training schedule was placing on long runs. As a rule of thumb, most coaches would advise that the long run consists of 40% or less of your total weekly mileage. Mine was pushing 50%. So I switched to a plan that was heavy on mid-week distances and quality runs, and more conservative on the long-run distances.
I honestly don't know how it will pan out in the end, but I can tell you that although my knee is still a little twingey, it feels strong. I've made it a little bit closer to my marathon date without an injury. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned in all of this. Instead of relying on my efforts alone to get me to my goal, I have to have faith in the plan and the preparations.
Regardless of my performance on October 30th or the outcome of the race, I'm looking forward to at least getting to the starting line. That's a heck of a lot farther than I made it last year!
One year ago, I had experienced the first twinging in my knee. One year ago, I was running distances of 10 miles multiple days in a row. One year ago, I finished a long run of 18.7 miles on a knee that started hurting 4 miles in. One year ago, I set myself to be hurt to the point that my knee needed surgery and I wouldn't be able to run at all for many months.
A few weeks ago, I started getting nervous about the emphasis that my training schedule was placing on long runs. As a rule of thumb, most coaches would advise that the long run consists of 40% or less of your total weekly mileage. Mine was pushing 50%. So I switched to a plan that was heavy on mid-week distances and quality runs, and more conservative on the long-run distances.
I honestly don't know how it will pan out in the end, but I can tell you that although my knee is still a little twingey, it feels strong. I've made it a little bit closer to my marathon date without an injury. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned in all of this. Instead of relying on my efforts alone to get me to my goal, I have to have faith in the plan and the preparations.
Regardless of my performance on October 30th or the outcome of the race, I'm looking forward to at least getting to the starting line. That's a heck of a lot farther than I made it last year!
Monday, August 8, 2011
No Excuses
Marathon training was going along just fine, and then I just stopped wanting to run. Obviously, this is a problem I've dealt with in the past, but it's kind of critical if I'm going to successfully complete a marathon in three months that I not let that happen. So what do I do? Two things.
1 - I switched to a different training plan. This plan still builds weekly mileage, but puts less emphasis on the weekly long runs. It also mixes up the types of runs a little more each week, which means that I get to tour different parts of my neighborhood depending on whether I'm going to do track work or hills or fartleks or what not.
2 - I implemented "no excuses" week. No matter what, I will complete my work outs and eat well this week. Period. No excuses are acceptable. I just need a solid week or two to stick to my plan without waivering, and hopefully that will get me back on track.
So far I got my run in this morning (on a track, no less, which is a huge victory for me!). I'll let you know how the rest of the week goes!
1 - I switched to a different training plan. This plan still builds weekly mileage, but puts less emphasis on the weekly long runs. It also mixes up the types of runs a little more each week, which means that I get to tour different parts of my neighborhood depending on whether I'm going to do track work or hills or fartleks or what not.
2 - I implemented "no excuses" week. No matter what, I will complete my work outs and eat well this week. Period. No excuses are acceptable. I just need a solid week or two to stick to my plan without waivering, and hopefully that will get me back on track.
So far I got my run in this morning (on a track, no less, which is a huge victory for me!). I'll let you know how the rest of the week goes!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Funny thing...
One of my least favorite things to do each year is go in for my annual check-up. I like my doctor, and I know it's good to make sure there aren't any problems that I could be unaware of, but I just feel like it's usually so unnecessary. I don't have a history of serious ongoing medical problems (although, my list of random problems and issues that pop up is pretty impressive), and I'm perfectly fine going to the doctor if I have a concern. Regardless, I dutifully make my appointment to go every year because that's just what responsible people do.
Since I was there already, I decided I would finally ask my doctor about my weight. The struggle to get back to my pre-injury weight has been slow, and I still have at least ten more pounds to go. I was still trying to lose weight prior to when I got injured, so I was thinking that I would need to lose an additional 15 or so pounds beyond what I had previously weighed.
When I asked her what I should weigh, though, she got out her BMI wheel, looked at me, and told me that the BMI chart wouldn't give me a fair idea of what a realistic weight would be. Since I have a large frame and a muscular build (my interpretation is that she was describing as solid, hardy, sturdy), I was already at a healthy weight prior to getting hurt.
That's the first time I've ever heard a doctor say that I didn't need to lose weight, and unfortunately I heard it a year too late to appreciate it in the moment. But it does let me know that I am capable of achieving the one thing that I've felt has eluded me my entire life - good health.
Now I just need to lose these last ten pounds. Anything beyond that will just be a bonus!
Since I was there already, I decided I would finally ask my doctor about my weight. The struggle to get back to my pre-injury weight has been slow, and I still have at least ten more pounds to go. I was still trying to lose weight prior to when I got injured, so I was thinking that I would need to lose an additional 15 or so pounds beyond what I had previously weighed.
When I asked her what I should weigh, though, she got out her BMI wheel, looked at me, and told me that the BMI chart wouldn't give me a fair idea of what a realistic weight would be. Since I have a large frame and a muscular build (my interpretation is that she was describing as solid, hardy, sturdy), I was already at a healthy weight prior to getting hurt.
That's the first time I've ever heard a doctor say that I didn't need to lose weight, and unfortunately I heard it a year too late to appreciate it in the moment. But it does let me know that I am capable of achieving the one thing that I've felt has eluded me my entire life - good health.
Now I just need to lose these last ten pounds. Anything beyond that will just be a bonus!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A little push
I'm in week 3 of marathon training. So far, so good. Even though I'm using the same schedule I used last year, there are a few things I'm doing differently. Primarily, I'm actually strictly following the schedule.
Last time, I went into training thinking that since I started above the baseline capability for distance, I would just keep running the distances I had been until the schedule caught up with me. I'm not sure if that contributed to me getting hurt or not, but it probably did put some additional, unnecessary strain on my body. I'm also actually doing the speedwork drills the plan recommends.
I've never been fast, and honestly, that was never my goal. I just wanted to be able to prove to myself that I could run 26.2 miles at one time, so distance was always what was important to me. That's still mostly what's important to me, but I want to be able to run those 26.2 miles in a time I can be proud of. I want to know that when all is said in done, I not only ran a marathon, but I ran the best marathon I could. So I'm doing the speed drills.
I don't like speedwork. It's hard. It takes a lot of self discipline. A lot of times I want to throw up. And a lot more times I want to quit. But I'm pushing myself to do it. And the fun part is that after only a few weeks of incorporating one day of speedwork, I'm starting to see some results.
I don't think I've magically gotten faster in these few weeks. But I do think that I'm more comfortable pushing myself as a result. I'm learning that I haven't been giving myself enough credit. I've allowed myself to get comfortable performing at a level that is nowhere close to my potential.
It makes me wonder where else in my life have I let myself become complacent? Where am I comfortably settling into mediocrity instead of pushing myself to achieve my full potential? To be honest, I could easily a dozen areas in my life where that's the case. Maybe running isn't the only area where I need to give myself a little push.
Last time, I went into training thinking that since I started above the baseline capability for distance, I would just keep running the distances I had been until the schedule caught up with me. I'm not sure if that contributed to me getting hurt or not, but it probably did put some additional, unnecessary strain on my body. I'm also actually doing the speedwork drills the plan recommends.
I've never been fast, and honestly, that was never my goal. I just wanted to be able to prove to myself that I could run 26.2 miles at one time, so distance was always what was important to me. That's still mostly what's important to me, but I want to be able to run those 26.2 miles in a time I can be proud of. I want to know that when all is said in done, I not only ran a marathon, but I ran the best marathon I could. So I'm doing the speed drills.
I don't like speedwork. It's hard. It takes a lot of self discipline. A lot of times I want to throw up. And a lot more times I want to quit. But I'm pushing myself to do it. And the fun part is that after only a few weeks of incorporating one day of speedwork, I'm starting to see some results.
I don't think I've magically gotten faster in these few weeks. But I do think that I'm more comfortable pushing myself as a result. I'm learning that I haven't been giving myself enough credit. I've allowed myself to get comfortable performing at a level that is nowhere close to my potential.
It makes me wonder where else in my life have I let myself become complacent? Where am I comfortably settling into mediocrity instead of pushing myself to achieve my full potential? To be honest, I could easily a dozen areas in my life where that's the case. Maybe running isn't the only area where I need to give myself a little push.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
1 down, 19 to go!
I wasn't planning on an update today, but then I realized that it's been a week since my last blog post. Where has the time gone?!
To be honest, I don't feel like I have anything major to discuss or to note, but that in itself is noteworthy. I have finished my first week of official marathon training and I'm feeling good. I was nervous about increasing the frequency of my runs from 2-3 times a week to 5 times a week, but my knee seems to be holding out okay.
I guess the big reason I didn't feel I had much to write about was because I haven't had much that I was struggling with this past week. I've been looking forward to getting up and running, not trying to talk myself into just getting out of bed and putting my running clothes on. My head and heart have made a complete 180 from a few short weeks ago.
The funny thing is that these are the times that I should WANT to write about! The good feeling - when everything goes okay. I guess I take it for granted that there's no lesson to learn in these times, but there is! This is the pay-off for the frustration and difficulty that I've had to work through to get to this point. This is to be celebrated, and all praise directed to the Lord for His mercy.
On my run this morning, I remembered to thank God today for the strength He has given me, both physically and mentally. But I need to ask Him to also move my heart to cherish these good times and not take them for granted.
I have 19 weeks left to go. There's still plenty of time for things to go wrong, and plenty of opportunities to learn new lessons. For right now, I'll be thankful for the break!
To be honest, I don't feel like I have anything major to discuss or to note, but that in itself is noteworthy. I have finished my first week of official marathon training and I'm feeling good. I was nervous about increasing the frequency of my runs from 2-3 times a week to 5 times a week, but my knee seems to be holding out okay.
I guess the big reason I didn't feel I had much to write about was because I haven't had much that I was struggling with this past week. I've been looking forward to getting up and running, not trying to talk myself into just getting out of bed and putting my running clothes on. My head and heart have made a complete 180 from a few short weeks ago.
The funny thing is that these are the times that I should WANT to write about! The good feeling - when everything goes okay. I guess I take it for granted that there's no lesson to learn in these times, but there is! This is the pay-off for the frustration and difficulty that I've had to work through to get to this point. This is to be celebrated, and all praise directed to the Lord for His mercy.
On my run this morning, I remembered to thank God today for the strength He has given me, both physically and mentally. But I need to ask Him to also move my heart to cherish these good times and not take them for granted.
I have 19 weeks left to go. There's still plenty of time for things to go wrong, and plenty of opportunities to learn new lessons. For right now, I'll be thankful for the break!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Halfway
The last several months have been filled with uncountable frustrations and difficulties for me. Most of it was fueled by my injury and the havoc that wreaked on my daily routine. Regular exercise was out of the picture, and I was having a really hard time reigning in my eating habits. I've definitely struggled to maintain some control over my health, wellness, and fitness, and even though I managed to hang on without regaining all the weight I worked so hard to lose, I felt defeated.
I think I've reached a turning point in my efforts, though. For one thing, I'm excited about running again. It was a very strange experience to work so hard to be able to run and then not actually desire to go running once I was capable of it. I read an article in Runner's World recently that explained that some of that is related to fear of reinjuring yourself or of not being able to perform at your previous level, but most of it is simply because you're out of the routine. Hearing someone that had been a runner for two decades admit to the same struggle I was facing helped immensely.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've regained a lot of the enthusiasm for taking care of myself that I had lost. I've been eating much better, and I've been getting out and running on a more regular basis. This week I started my official marathon training. Following the prescribed schedule, I'll be cutting back on the distance of my long runs for a few weeks, but I'll be increasing my mid-week mileage (which means I'll be running five days a week instead of three). Having a schedule is good for me - it takes some of the pressure off of me to try to figure out what I should do/how far I should go.
I also have finally seen some significant results on the scale. I am now down 10 pounds from the most I weighed post-injury. I have about 10 more to go before I reach my pre-injury low (and unfortunately I had about another 15-20 to go before that). It took me six months to get back to this point. It was a difficult, emotionally challenging, frustrating six months, but being able to finally see these results validates the work, the determination, and the prayers that got me back here.
Maybe I'm halfway back to my pre-injury weight, but if I could measure the progress of my emotional and psychological health, my attitude, my heart, I think my spirit has progressed much, much farther than that. This experience has definitely tested my faith and determination, and I have a feeling that it will continue to test me. But I also know that every challenge we overcome makes us stronger, more confident, more faithful.
I make a point of praising God when I run. Maybe it hurts, maybe I want to throw up, maybe I'm tired and want to quit, but I'm capable of running, and I never regret the discomfort I went through once I'm back home.
Thank you, Lord, for my body that is strong and can run. Thank you for friends and family that have supported and encouraged me, especially when I was a depressed, emotional wreck. Thank you for showing me how strong I can be when I surrender my worries and cares to you.
I think I've reached a turning point in my efforts, though. For one thing, I'm excited about running again. It was a very strange experience to work so hard to be able to run and then not actually desire to go running once I was capable of it. I read an article in Runner's World recently that explained that some of that is related to fear of reinjuring yourself or of not being able to perform at your previous level, but most of it is simply because you're out of the routine. Hearing someone that had been a runner for two decades admit to the same struggle I was facing helped immensely.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've regained a lot of the enthusiasm for taking care of myself that I had lost. I've been eating much better, and I've been getting out and running on a more regular basis. This week I started my official marathon training. Following the prescribed schedule, I'll be cutting back on the distance of my long runs for a few weeks, but I'll be increasing my mid-week mileage (which means I'll be running five days a week instead of three). Having a schedule is good for me - it takes some of the pressure off of me to try to figure out what I should do/how far I should go.
I also have finally seen some significant results on the scale. I am now down 10 pounds from the most I weighed post-injury. I have about 10 more to go before I reach my pre-injury low (and unfortunately I had about another 15-20 to go before that). It took me six months to get back to this point. It was a difficult, emotionally challenging, frustrating six months, but being able to finally see these results validates the work, the determination, and the prayers that got me back here.
Maybe I'm halfway back to my pre-injury weight, but if I could measure the progress of my emotional and psychological health, my attitude, my heart, I think my spirit has progressed much, much farther than that. This experience has definitely tested my faith and determination, and I have a feeling that it will continue to test me. But I also know that every challenge we overcome makes us stronger, more confident, more faithful.
I make a point of praising God when I run. Maybe it hurts, maybe I want to throw up, maybe I'm tired and want to quit, but I'm capable of running, and I never regret the discomfort I went through once I'm back home.
Thank you, Lord, for my body that is strong and can run. Thank you for friends and family that have supported and encouraged me, especially when I was a depressed, emotional wreck. Thank you for showing me how strong I can be when I surrender my worries and cares to you.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Determination
I had an exciting breakthrough this week. I ran two days in a row for the first time in the last six months! Two back-to-back, muggy, sweaty 4.5-mile runs. It was exciting!
I'm going to be honest, though. I was not excited waking up two days ago for the second consecutive run. I was tired, I wanted to go back to bed, and my legs just felt heavy. But I had to get up to take the dogs out, then they wanted to eat, then they wanted to go on a walk. And I figured if I was going to do all that, I may as well just go ahead and do my run, too.
So I set out, and I had a really bad attitude going into it. The first three-quarters of a mile or so from my house is up a gradual hill, which is always a great way to start a reluctant run. And I kept telling myself that I wasn't in the mood and I probably wouldn't do it. But then I started thinking about a friend of mine.
My friend Jenn had knee surgery about a week after I did. We were never close friends, and we live in different corners of the U.S. now, but we were connected through facebook, we were both runners (her much more accomplished than I), and we were able to relate to the frustration of not being able to run due to injuries.
While my surgery and recover was pretty straightforward, Jenn experienced one setback after another. It has been six months now, and Jenn just ended up having a knee replacement to (hopefully) finally address the problems she's been having and get her back to living an active life.
During these last six months, I have had a lot of ups and downs. I've struggled with consistency and motivation. I've lost a lot of my innate desire to get up and go out for a run. It's been frustrating.
Something changed for me as I set out for my first two-in-a-row run, though - I started thanking God that I was even capable of putting one foot in front of another. Throughout all of her setbacks, Jenn has remained incredibly positive, encouraging, and faithful. And all this time I've been squandering the opportunities God has given me to glorify Him through my physical activity with a bad attitude.
My second run was tough. My legs felt heavy and dead. It was muggy and I was sluggish. But in a lot of ways, that has been one of my best runs, yet. Simply because I finally realized that my runs are not about me.
I run because I never thought I could. I run because other's can't. I run because it is a gift from God.
I'm going to be honest, though. I was not excited waking up two days ago for the second consecutive run. I was tired, I wanted to go back to bed, and my legs just felt heavy. But I had to get up to take the dogs out, then they wanted to eat, then they wanted to go on a walk. And I figured if I was going to do all that, I may as well just go ahead and do my run, too.
So I set out, and I had a really bad attitude going into it. The first three-quarters of a mile or so from my house is up a gradual hill, which is always a great way to start a reluctant run. And I kept telling myself that I wasn't in the mood and I probably wouldn't do it. But then I started thinking about a friend of mine.
My friend Jenn had knee surgery about a week after I did. We were never close friends, and we live in different corners of the U.S. now, but we were connected through facebook, we were both runners (her much more accomplished than I), and we were able to relate to the frustration of not being able to run due to injuries.
While my surgery and recover was pretty straightforward, Jenn experienced one setback after another. It has been six months now, and Jenn just ended up having a knee replacement to (hopefully) finally address the problems she's been having and get her back to living an active life.
During these last six months, I have had a lot of ups and downs. I've struggled with consistency and motivation. I've lost a lot of my innate desire to get up and go out for a run. It's been frustrating.
Something changed for me as I set out for my first two-in-a-row run, though - I started thanking God that I was even capable of putting one foot in front of another. Throughout all of her setbacks, Jenn has remained incredibly positive, encouraging, and faithful. And all this time I've been squandering the opportunities God has given me to glorify Him through my physical activity with a bad attitude.
My second run was tough. My legs felt heavy and dead. It was muggy and I was sluggish. But in a lot of ways, that has been one of my best runs, yet. Simply because I finally realized that my runs are not about me.
I run because I never thought I could. I run because other's can't. I run because it is a gift from God.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Unwasted Opportunities
Yesterday was Memorial Day, which means that we got an extra long weekend. Normally, I look forward to three-day weekends for their potential. I have a list of plans and expectations set before me. The problem is that I rarely follow through on those plans. The lure of refinishing my dresser loses out to an afternoon spent in the cool breeze of my central air conditioning watching mindless tv reruns on hulu.
That being the typical case, I'm happy to be able to inform you today that this past weekend was not another wasted opportunity. Yes, there was quite a bit of down time, but it was all well-deserved!
On Saturday, I willingly set my alarm for (and actually got up!) 5 am. I fed the animals, walked the dogs, and then headed to the bike trail to get a long run in. I am very excited to let y'all know that I hit a major breakthrough Saturday - 11 miles! I was completely drenched in sweat when I was done, and my hips were a little achey, but my knee felt good and I, in general, felt amazing for having finally crossed into double-digit distances. Praise God!
After church on Sunday, I laid down and rested for about an hour or so, and then I got up to tackle a project I'd been putting off for months and months. Last fall (maybe?) my neighbor's tree fell over the fence and a portion of it landed in my yard. He chopped it up with a chain saw, but never removed the branches. As spring sprang, in addition to a huge mess of random brush, grass and weeds also started growing up in the crevices of these branches until they were two to three feet tall. It took me three hours of sawing, clipping, and dragging, but I was able to clean up that corner of my yard and deposit the brush by the road for Monday's pick up. I also took the dogs on a four-mile walk since they were such good sports about the whole thing.
On Monday, I let myself sleep in a little (until 7!) and then took the dogs hiking at a trail about 40 minutes from my house. The trail is only about a mile and a half, but the elevation is over 3,000 feet, so it's pretty steep. It took us about an hour to get to the top, and a little less to get back down. The rest of the day was so hot that me and the dogs just hung out inside. In all fairness, I tried to take them for an afternoon walk, but after two blocks, the puppy laid down in the shade, so we just went home. :)
I didn't get in a lot of running (and there was an issue with my alarm clock this morning so I didn't go this morning, either), but I definitely got in a lot of really great activity. And the best part is that I woke up this morning without any knee pain.
I'm proud to be able to look back at the weekend and not wish that there was something I had done differently. That's the way I want to live my life.
That being the typical case, I'm happy to be able to inform you today that this past weekend was not another wasted opportunity. Yes, there was quite a bit of down time, but it was all well-deserved!
On Saturday, I willingly set my alarm for (and actually got up!) 5 am. I fed the animals, walked the dogs, and then headed to the bike trail to get a long run in. I am very excited to let y'all know that I hit a major breakthrough Saturday - 11 miles! I was completely drenched in sweat when I was done, and my hips were a little achey, but my knee felt good and I, in general, felt amazing for having finally crossed into double-digit distances. Praise God!
After church on Sunday, I laid down and rested for about an hour or so, and then I got up to tackle a project I'd been putting off for months and months. Last fall (maybe?) my neighbor's tree fell over the fence and a portion of it landed in my yard. He chopped it up with a chain saw, but never removed the branches. As spring sprang, in addition to a huge mess of random brush, grass and weeds also started growing up in the crevices of these branches until they were two to three feet tall. It took me three hours of sawing, clipping, and dragging, but I was able to clean up that corner of my yard and deposit the brush by the road for Monday's pick up. I also took the dogs on a four-mile walk since they were such good sports about the whole thing.
On Monday, I let myself sleep in a little (until 7!) and then took the dogs hiking at a trail about 40 minutes from my house. The trail is only about a mile and a half, but the elevation is over 3,000 feet, so it's pretty steep. It took us about an hour to get to the top, and a little less to get back down. The rest of the day was so hot that me and the dogs just hung out inside. In all fairness, I tried to take them for an afternoon walk, but after two blocks, the puppy laid down in the shade, so we just went home. :)
I didn't get in a lot of running (and there was an issue with my alarm clock this morning so I didn't go this morning, either), but I definitely got in a lot of really great activity. And the best part is that I woke up this morning without any knee pain.
I'm proud to be able to look back at the weekend and not wish that there was something I had done differently. That's the way I want to live my life.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Are you tough enough?
I've been having a tough time getting back on track with my running schedule and establishing a healthy plan. Every time I think I may be having a breakthrough, I end up taking one big huge gigantic leap backwards. It sucks.
This weekend was no exception. I'm not going to get into any details, but the idea of giving up just seemed to overwhelm me. My head was full of thoughts like "it's no use," "you're not going to accomplish your goals," "you're too weak," etc. So understandably, I went into my work outs and the week believing these lies.
As a result, I've been struggling. I tried to run twice earlier this week. Both times, I've gotten a short distance away from home and gave up. It doesn't make sense that I can go from running 9 and 10 miles to struggling to run 3 or 4 less than a week later, but that's the power of the mind, for you.
To overcome the struggle, I have to understand and acknowledge these lies for what they are and who they come from. They come from Satan, and they are his attempts to prevent me from glorifying God.
One of the things I learned as I started to run, and then become serious about training for longer distances, was that if left to my own devices, I would not choose to take care of myself. I had to learn that it was not my strength, but strength from the Lord that would sustain me, in a very real, physical way. As I would run up a tough hill or be on the last leg of a long run, when I would want to give up, I would pray that the joy of the Lord would be my strength.
I think recently, in the midst of these struggles, I lost sight of that. I was drawing on my own power, instead of leaning on Lord's strength, and my power wasn't enough to sustain me.
I managed to get a shaky 4.4 mile run in this morning. Not my best run, not an easy run, but I accomplished the goal that was set before me for this morning. About a mile in, the song "Hangin' Tough" by the New Kids on the Block started playing on my iPod. The song asks, "Are you tough enough?" By myself, I'm not. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
This weekend was no exception. I'm not going to get into any details, but the idea of giving up just seemed to overwhelm me. My head was full of thoughts like "it's no use," "you're not going to accomplish your goals," "you're too weak," etc. So understandably, I went into my work outs and the week believing these lies.
As a result, I've been struggling. I tried to run twice earlier this week. Both times, I've gotten a short distance away from home and gave up. It doesn't make sense that I can go from running 9 and 10 miles to struggling to run 3 or 4 less than a week later, but that's the power of the mind, for you.
To overcome the struggle, I have to understand and acknowledge these lies for what they are and who they come from. They come from Satan, and they are his attempts to prevent me from glorifying God.
One of the things I learned as I started to run, and then become serious about training for longer distances, was that if left to my own devices, I would not choose to take care of myself. I had to learn that it was not my strength, but strength from the Lord that would sustain me, in a very real, physical way. As I would run up a tough hill or be on the last leg of a long run, when I would want to give up, I would pray that the joy of the Lord would be my strength.
I think recently, in the midst of these struggles, I lost sight of that. I was drawing on my own power, instead of leaning on Lord's strength, and my power wasn't enough to sustain me.
I managed to get a shaky 4.4 mile run in this morning. Not my best run, not an easy run, but I accomplished the goal that was set before me for this morning. About a mile in, the song "Hangin' Tough" by the New Kids on the Block started playing on my iPod. The song asks, "Are you tough enough?" By myself, I'm not. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Monday, May 16, 2011
It's not the heat, it's the humidity
Last week was slightly better than the previous week for me. I did two mid-week runs of four miles each, and then I had a very exciting long run on Sunday, which is what the bulk of this post will be about.
I am currently four weeks away from when I will start my formal marathon training. I'm going to use the same training schedule I used last year, I just will be running different routes (with fewer hills) and walking down any major hills that I may chance to encounter. I had a lot of doubts regarding whether or not I'd be ready to start training, but I am happy to tell you that those doubts have now been assuaged.
I was a little concerned that I would not be able to get a long run in this weekend because the weather forecast kept calling for storms all day Saturday AND Sunday. But when I woke up Sunday morning, the sky was clear and the sun was peaking out, so I brought my running clothes to church and made plans to go directly afterwards.
I got to the bike trail at about 10:30 am - I was thinking I would try to get in about eight miles, so I decided on a route and set off. The route I had chosen was a little more than seven miles, so I needed to add another detour on to make up the additional mile. I picked up a side trail that was about 1.2 miles to the end. I figured I could always just stop a mile from where I parked and walk back to the car. But it turns out I didn't have to walk. I ended up running 9.6 miles!
Because we were between thunderstorms, it was incredibly humid. I was drenched in sweat within half a mile probably. I also forgot about certain things I need to think about when it comes to long runs. 1) I really need to use vaseline on certain areas of my body to prevent chafing. It's usually just a problem where clothes rub certain ways, but it'll do me good to remember that in the future. 2) I have the hardest time eating anything for several hours afterwards. Fortunately for me, I didn't have a problem eating an excess of calories the previous day, so even though my consumption was light yesterday, I had plenty of fuel for my system. :)
The best part is that although my knee was sore yesterday, I woke up this morning with NO PAIN! I'm still going to be cautious with my training, but it looks like I may be able to accomplish my marathon completion goal this year. It's nice to have hope again!
I am currently four weeks away from when I will start my formal marathon training. I'm going to use the same training schedule I used last year, I just will be running different routes (with fewer hills) and walking down any major hills that I may chance to encounter. I had a lot of doubts regarding whether or not I'd be ready to start training, but I am happy to tell you that those doubts have now been assuaged.
I was a little concerned that I would not be able to get a long run in this weekend because the weather forecast kept calling for storms all day Saturday AND Sunday. But when I woke up Sunday morning, the sky was clear and the sun was peaking out, so I brought my running clothes to church and made plans to go directly afterwards.
I got to the bike trail at about 10:30 am - I was thinking I would try to get in about eight miles, so I decided on a route and set off. The route I had chosen was a little more than seven miles, so I needed to add another detour on to make up the additional mile. I picked up a side trail that was about 1.2 miles to the end. I figured I could always just stop a mile from where I parked and walk back to the car. But it turns out I didn't have to walk. I ended up running 9.6 miles!
Because we were between thunderstorms, it was incredibly humid. I was drenched in sweat within half a mile probably. I also forgot about certain things I need to think about when it comes to long runs. 1) I really need to use vaseline on certain areas of my body to prevent chafing. It's usually just a problem where clothes rub certain ways, but it'll do me good to remember that in the future. 2) I have the hardest time eating anything for several hours afterwards. Fortunately for me, I didn't have a problem eating an excess of calories the previous day, so even though my consumption was light yesterday, I had plenty of fuel for my system. :)
The best part is that although my knee was sore yesterday, I woke up this morning with NO PAIN! I'm still going to be cautious with my training, but it looks like I may be able to accomplish my marathon completion goal this year. It's nice to have hope again!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Mind over matter... but what's over mind?
I'm still struggling a lot with irregularity. Not the kind that could be resolved with proper fiber intake, but the kind that gets in my way of making and sticking to a running schedule.
So far my knee is holding up pretty well - a little achey, but 10 minutes of ice usually does the trick. I have successfully completed a few 7-mile runs at a time that I'm only slightly embarrassed to share with others. :) My hurdles at this point aren't physical, but mental.
Sunday was a fairly cool day, although a little humid. I went to the bike trail for my long run around noon. It had been two weeks since my last long run and I think I only went running one other time last week. Needless to say, the seven miles was painful. And I struggled through them in a way I hadn't in a while. I even had to stop and walk for a few seconds on two occasions.
I took a day off and set out this morning for a neighborhood run - about 4.5 miles. Honestly, it was brutal. My legs were still sore, and mentally, I did not want to go. Once I reached the turnaround point, I was feeling better, but the first 2 miles were torture. It got me thinking, though...
There's the common saying "Mind over matter" which basically means that no matter what obstacles you are facing, if you focus hard enough you can achieve your goals. Well, what happens when your mind is what's setting you up for failure? What do you do when you don't have the mental capacity to push yourself?
Typically when this happens to me, I'll end up praying to the Lord asking for His joy to be my strength. But I didn't do that today for whatever reason. Something kept pushing me that didn't come from MY mind or MY body. I can't explain what it was that was pushing me to continue to place one foot in front of the other. But I'm grateful for it.
So far my knee is holding up pretty well - a little achey, but 10 minutes of ice usually does the trick. I have successfully completed a few 7-mile runs at a time that I'm only slightly embarrassed to share with others. :) My hurdles at this point aren't physical, but mental.
Sunday was a fairly cool day, although a little humid. I went to the bike trail for my long run around noon. It had been two weeks since my last long run and I think I only went running one other time last week. Needless to say, the seven miles was painful. And I struggled through them in a way I hadn't in a while. I even had to stop and walk for a few seconds on two occasions.
I took a day off and set out this morning for a neighborhood run - about 4.5 miles. Honestly, it was brutal. My legs were still sore, and mentally, I did not want to go. Once I reached the turnaround point, I was feeling better, but the first 2 miles were torture. It got me thinking, though...
There's the common saying "Mind over matter" which basically means that no matter what obstacles you are facing, if you focus hard enough you can achieve your goals. Well, what happens when your mind is what's setting you up for failure? What do you do when you don't have the mental capacity to push yourself?
Typically when this happens to me, I'll end up praying to the Lord asking for His joy to be my strength. But I didn't do that today for whatever reason. Something kept pushing me that didn't come from MY mind or MY body. I can't explain what it was that was pushing me to continue to place one foot in front of the other. But I'm grateful for it.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Measuring Success
It's not a big secret that I'm a goal-oriented kind of girl. I do ridiculous things like register for marathons to motivate myself to stay active. As such, it's really, really important to me that I see progress on my way to accomplishing my goals. But progress is so subjective...
I am trying SO hard to get off the weight I gained when I got hurt. Until recently, I had a lot of mental hurdles I needed to overcome to get to a point where I felt more in control of my eating. Well, this past week, I really felt like I was on top of things. I had calorie deficits all but one day, I walked or ran five days out of the week, and I even passed on dessert when I took my mom out for dinner on her birthday.
Needless to say, I was actually excited to weigh myself yesterday morning to see how much progress I had made. Turns out that it wasn't that much. I was down about 0.4 pounds. Now, at least I was down, but still, I put in an awful lot of effort to see the scale "only" budge 0.4 pounds.
So what happens when you don't see the fruits of your labor? When your hard work doesn't show up in the outcome? I could easily throw my hands up in the air and give up. I want to do that a lot of times. But I have to remember how far I've come and I have to keep my goal in mind. Maybe I didn't make much progress this week, but all the small steps along the way lead up to big, measurable results as long as I don't give up my efforts.
On the plus side, I ran seven miles on Sunday and my pace was under 11 minutes per mile (down 27 seconds per mile from the week before). I might not see progress on the scale, but I am seeing it on the trail at least!
I am trying SO hard to get off the weight I gained when I got hurt. Until recently, I had a lot of mental hurdles I needed to overcome to get to a point where I felt more in control of my eating. Well, this past week, I really felt like I was on top of things. I had calorie deficits all but one day, I walked or ran five days out of the week, and I even passed on dessert when I took my mom out for dinner on her birthday.
Needless to say, I was actually excited to weigh myself yesterday morning to see how much progress I had made. Turns out that it wasn't that much. I was down about 0.4 pounds. Now, at least I was down, but still, I put in an awful lot of effort to see the scale "only" budge 0.4 pounds.
So what happens when you don't see the fruits of your labor? When your hard work doesn't show up in the outcome? I could easily throw my hands up in the air and give up. I want to do that a lot of times. But I have to remember how far I've come and I have to keep my goal in mind. Maybe I didn't make much progress this week, but all the small steps along the way lead up to big, measurable results as long as I don't give up my efforts.
On the plus side, I ran seven miles on Sunday and my pace was under 11 minutes per mile (down 27 seconds per mile from the week before). I might not see progress on the scale, but I am seeing it on the trail at least!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Mid-week Check-in
Hello, friends.
This will be a quick post, just to let y'all know (all three of you!) that I've more or less stuck to my plan this week. Well, aside from not doing anything Monday to give myself a rest day after running SEVEN miles Sunday, and not actually getting up most mornings, I've stuck to my plan. I went running Tuesday morning and last (Wednesday) night. I did get up to take the dogs on a walk this morning, but because one of the dogs is a nine-week-old puppy that I'm fostering for a few days, we didn't go very far... or very fast. But she's cute, and we took a long walk last night, so maybe the two combined equal one regular morning walk? I don't know. She did stop and whine and I had to carry her for a little while, so I got the added bonus of doing some upper body strength training! :)
I've been eating better this week, too. I'm not sure what changed, but I started believing in myself again this week, which I think gave me the determination to say no to things I knew wouldn't help me meet my goals.
I've also started asking for help when I need it. Last weekend, I went out to dinner with some friends and then they were planning on getting frozen yogurt afterwards. I let one of the girls know what I was planning to eat ahead of time and told her I was going to skip the yogurt completely. Know what? It helped! It's hard to admit that I struggle with certain things, but God definitely blesses those who are open about their struggles and ask for support. Every time I see the rewards, it gets a little easier.
So now the challenge is to continue to build the momentum. Having a good week is amazing, but I need this to lead into a good second, third, and fourth week, too.
This will be a quick post, just to let y'all know (all three of you!) that I've more or less stuck to my plan this week. Well, aside from not doing anything Monday to give myself a rest day after running SEVEN miles Sunday, and not actually getting up most mornings, I've stuck to my plan. I went running Tuesday morning and last (Wednesday) night. I did get up to take the dogs on a walk this morning, but because one of the dogs is a nine-week-old puppy that I'm fostering for a few days, we didn't go very far... or very fast. But she's cute, and we took a long walk last night, so maybe the two combined equal one regular morning walk? I don't know. She did stop and whine and I had to carry her for a little while, so I got the added bonus of doing some upper body strength training! :)
I've been eating better this week, too. I'm not sure what changed, but I started believing in myself again this week, which I think gave me the determination to say no to things I knew wouldn't help me meet my goals.
I've also started asking for help when I need it. Last weekend, I went out to dinner with some friends and then they were planning on getting frozen yogurt afterwards. I let one of the girls know what I was planning to eat ahead of time and told her I was going to skip the yogurt completely. Know what? It helped! It's hard to admit that I struggle with certain things, but God definitely blesses those who are open about their struggles and ask for support. Every time I see the rewards, it gets a little easier.
So now the challenge is to continue to build the momentum. Having a good week is amazing, but I need this to lead into a good second, third, and fourth week, too.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Committing
I have a confession, friends. I have not been fully committed to regular runs, strength training, or a healthy nutrition plan. I've been running, I've been trying to eat well, but I haven't been committed. My efforts have been very half-hearted. Enough to keep me going, but not enough to help me progress in my goals. This has to change.
The biggest problem is that I haven't really been planning. I might make a loose plan ("I think I'm going to try..."), but nothing I've fully thought out, and therefore, nothing I've stuck to. I've let myself derail on my diet a number of times more than I can readily recall. It's been frustrating and discouraging, and I've wanted to throw in the towel so many times. The only reason I haven't is because I know what the outcome will be: 224 pounds.
I'm going into the upcoming week with a plan. 1) I will get up early each morning. I will run the neighborhood route on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I will walk a shorter route on Tuesday and Thursday. 2) I will go to the bike trail Saturday and get a long-ish run in. 3) I will not use social occasions as permission to indulge in foods that will not help me meet my goals. I'm going to dinner and frozen yogurt with some friends this weekend. I have already let one of them know what I am eating for dinner and that I will be passing on the frozen yogurt. It sucks that I have to rely on telling someone else to keep me accountability, but that's my reality right now, so there you have it. 4) I will NOT continue to give in to unplanned indulgences. I don't have any specific mechanism in place to accomplish this, but I am bound and determined to beat this behavior.
The good news is that I have fully committed to a half marathon in September and a full marathon in October. I know I'm capable of taking better care of myself than I have been, I just need to tap back into that will-power to move forward.
The biggest problem is that I haven't really been planning. I might make a loose plan ("I think I'm going to try..."), but nothing I've fully thought out, and therefore, nothing I've stuck to. I've let myself derail on my diet a number of times more than I can readily recall. It's been frustrating and discouraging, and I've wanted to throw in the towel so many times. The only reason I haven't is because I know what the outcome will be: 224 pounds.
I'm going into the upcoming week with a plan. 1) I will get up early each morning. I will run the neighborhood route on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I will walk a shorter route on Tuesday and Thursday. 2) I will go to the bike trail Saturday and get a long-ish run in. 3) I will not use social occasions as permission to indulge in foods that will not help me meet my goals. I'm going to dinner and frozen yogurt with some friends this weekend. I have already let one of them know what I am eating for dinner and that I will be passing on the frozen yogurt. It sucks that I have to rely on telling someone else to keep me accountability, but that's my reality right now, so there you have it. 4) I will NOT continue to give in to unplanned indulgences. I don't have any specific mechanism in place to accomplish this, but I am bound and determined to beat this behavior.
The good news is that I have fully committed to a half marathon in September and a full marathon in October. I know I'm capable of taking better care of myself than I have been, I just need to tap back into that will-power to move forward.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I have the best running partner
I'm not going to lie - I hate running with other people. I have a few reasons for this. I'm an introvert, so running is a good opportunity for me to be alone with my thoughts. It's also really good prayer time for me. I also tend to be a bit on the slow side (especially since my injury), and I feel a little self-conscious running with other people for that specific reason.
But, there are definitely benefits to having a running partner. They offer accountability, motivation, and encouragement. And they also give you extra incentive to get out of bed early in the morning.
I have the perfect running partner. She's ready to run whenever I am. She doesn't try to talk to me. She always lets me set the pace. She doesn't whine about big hills. She doesn't give me a hard time if I need to walk on occasion, although she might try to urge me along if I have to stop to retie my shoelaces.
The only problem is that she likes to chase cats and scavenge for food scraps that people throw out their car windows. But I guess I can live with that.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Is there anything more motivating than new shoes?
Because my hips were so weak, when I went in to the fancy pants running store to get fitted for shoes last spring, I was told I was a severe over-pronator. That meant that my feet tended to collapse in when I ran. The kind folks at Riverside Runners hooked me up with some sweet Brooks that corrected my over-pronation woes and I was on my way. I loved those shoes. They made me feel like a real runner. They felt good on my feet. And they resolved a lot of the joint problems I was experiencing at the time. Then I got hurt. I went to physical therapy. And I was told that there was nothing wrong with the pronation in my feet - all the weakness was coming from my hips and that I should be wearing a neutral shoe and working on strengthening my hips. That was several months ago. Now that I'm starting to be able to run consistently again, I thought it was about time to actually follow the advice of my therapist. So on Saturday, cash in hand, I went back to the running store to find a new pair of shoes.
After explaining my situation and challenges to the saleswoman (the girl who helped me the very first time I bought shoes there!), I ended up trying on six different pairs of shoes. Out of all of those shoes (all sized for wide feet!), there was exactly one pair that did not rub against the little toes of my left foot. And based on that fact alone, I am now the proud owner of some sort of Saucony shoes that look an awful lot like my Brooks.
I finally got a chance to try them out this morning. So far, so good!
And hey, if nothing else, dropping $100 on new shoes in and of itself will motivate me to get out the door for a while!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Self-Defeating
I'm going to be honest. The last two weeks have sucked for me. I think I've lost my initial excitement about being able to run in the struggle to figure out how I'm going to be able to work it into my daily life. Here's the problem:
I cannot run inside on a treadmill. I hate it. It feels like a death sentence to me.
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to try to start running in my neighborhood yet. My neighborhood is very hilly, which can exacerbate any weaknesses I still have. Also, in order to run in my neighborhood, I would primarily have to run on sidewalks, which are much harder than asphalt. That could also exacerbate any joint problems I already have.
I CAN run on the bike trail downtown - it's flat and the surface is asphalt. BUT I'm not going to run on it when it's dark for safety reasons and I can only get there during daylight hours on the weekends.
So what are my options?
I could just try running in my neighborhood to see how it goes. Maybe it won't hurt as long as I keep the runs short and don't go every day. I could try running around the office where I work. It's relatively flat, but I'd still have the sidewalk issue. I could try running around a track, but I honestly think that will result in the same problem I have with the treadmill. I could also just focus on walking during the week and save running for the weekends. I don't really want to do that, though - I'm trying to build up my strength and endurance which means I need to start building up my mileage.
These are just excuses. If I'm really committed to running, I'm going to make it work one way or another. This morning I woke up and confessed to God that I've been lazy, discouraged, and living in fear. I'm hoping to turn this around.
I will run tomorrow.
I cannot run inside on a treadmill. I hate it. It feels like a death sentence to me.
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to try to start running in my neighborhood yet. My neighborhood is very hilly, which can exacerbate any weaknesses I still have. Also, in order to run in my neighborhood, I would primarily have to run on sidewalks, which are much harder than asphalt. That could also exacerbate any joint problems I already have.
I CAN run on the bike trail downtown - it's flat and the surface is asphalt. BUT I'm not going to run on it when it's dark for safety reasons and I can only get there during daylight hours on the weekends.
So what are my options?
I could just try running in my neighborhood to see how it goes. Maybe it won't hurt as long as I keep the runs short and don't go every day. I could try running around the office where I work. It's relatively flat, but I'd still have the sidewalk issue. I could try running around a track, but I honestly think that will result in the same problem I have with the treadmill. I could also just focus on walking during the week and save running for the weekends. I don't really want to do that, though - I'm trying to build up my strength and endurance which means I need to start building up my mileage.
These are just excuses. If I'm really committed to running, I'm going to make it work one way or another. This morning I woke up and confessed to God that I've been lazy, discouraged, and living in fear. I'm hoping to turn this around.
I will run tomorrow.
Monday, March 14, 2011
The rhythm of running
I have a confession. I'm in a rut. I was so excited to be able to start running again, but I'm having trouble finding my rhythm again. I think a lot of it has to do with the amount of planning and preparation it takes to go on a run now.
Before I got injured, I would basically put on my shoes and walk out the front door. That was it. If it was a short run, I could take Abby with me and she would get some good exercise in with me. Otherwise, I would take her on a short walk first, drop her off at the house, and go on my way. It's not that easy any more, though.
First of all, I have to do a lot more to maintain my body in a condition where I'm able to run. In addition to time spent running, I have to spend time doing core strengthening and stretching and resting and icing. Second, I can't just walk out my door and go on a run because my neighborhood is too hilly. I have to drive somewhere else, somewhere mostly flat with no downhills. Because of the inconvenience imposed, I've found it difficult to get back into a routine.
I'm thankful that we have some nice bike trails in the area so I'm not completely confined to a treadmill, but I'm smart enough to know that running those trails alone when it's dark is a bad idea. So during the week, I'm largely stuck running on a treadmill, which mostly feels like torture for me.
I think a lot of the struggle I'm having right now is centered around the fact that I don't have a clear plan. I know I want to be healthy enough to start training for a marathon later this year, and I think I will be considering I ran five miles yesterday. But I don't have a specific schedule laid out right now that I'm trying to follow. My goal for this week will be to develop a schedule so I have some structure.
The initial thought I'm having is to stick to the trails and treadmill until I'm regularly running 6 miles or so without pain. Then I can start incorporating neighborhood and hill workouts into my schedule once or twice a week. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable running down hills again, but I can always walk those if I need to.
I need to try to remember that this situation is only temporary. By being conservative now, I set myself up for long-term success, which is the most important goal. I'm just tired of not being completely, 100% myself. I'm tired of all these restrictions. I'm looking forward to finding my rhythm again.
Before I got injured, I would basically put on my shoes and walk out the front door. That was it. If it was a short run, I could take Abby with me and she would get some good exercise in with me. Otherwise, I would take her on a short walk first, drop her off at the house, and go on my way. It's not that easy any more, though.
First of all, I have to do a lot more to maintain my body in a condition where I'm able to run. In addition to time spent running, I have to spend time doing core strengthening and stretching and resting and icing. Second, I can't just walk out my door and go on a run because my neighborhood is too hilly. I have to drive somewhere else, somewhere mostly flat with no downhills. Because of the inconvenience imposed, I've found it difficult to get back into a routine.
I'm thankful that we have some nice bike trails in the area so I'm not completely confined to a treadmill, but I'm smart enough to know that running those trails alone when it's dark is a bad idea. So during the week, I'm largely stuck running on a treadmill, which mostly feels like torture for me.
I think a lot of the struggle I'm having right now is centered around the fact that I don't have a clear plan. I know I want to be healthy enough to start training for a marathon later this year, and I think I will be considering I ran five miles yesterday. But I don't have a specific schedule laid out right now that I'm trying to follow. My goal for this week will be to develop a schedule so I have some structure.
The initial thought I'm having is to stick to the trails and treadmill until I'm regularly running 6 miles or so without pain. Then I can start incorporating neighborhood and hill workouts into my schedule once or twice a week. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable running down hills again, but I can always walk those if I need to.
I need to try to remember that this situation is only temporary. By being conservative now, I set myself up for long-term success, which is the most important goal. I'm just tired of not being completely, 100% myself. I'm tired of all these restrictions. I'm looking forward to finding my rhythm again.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Out Of Control
I went a whole week with very limited sugar intake. And it honestly wasn't that difficult. At the end of the week, even though I wasn't particularly craving anything sugary or desserty, I broke the fast with some frozen yogurt. It was delicious. But I felt like I had opened Pandora's Box by eating that small bowl of chocolate and peanut butter sugary sweetness.
The week after the fast ended was awful. I started craving sugar to an extent where I did not experience any form of satiation. I just wanted more and more of it. And I came to a hard realization - for right now, it's not something that I can allow myself to have.
I whole-heartedly believe that when people are taking steps to change their eating behaviors, eating plans based on deprivation are bad ideas. Mostly because deprivation leads to binge-eating those things of which you are depriving yourself, which leads to guilt, which leads to self-sabotage. However, those of us that have been successful in any sort of weight loss program over the long-term also know that it's really important to identify trigger foods.
Unfortunately for me, pretty much anything that falls into the "sugary" category is a trigger food: cake, candy, chocolate, cookies, ice cream, etc. It doesn't matter - I crave it all, and once I have a little, I want more. And if I can't have something sugary, then I'll just start mindlessly eating in general.
I have to accept that for me, for right now, I'm better off without it. Not just because of my efforts to manage my weight, but also for my health in general. I just don't feel as good when I'm eating lots of sugar. My energy level is down, my blood sugar is all over the place, I have headaches, and I'm tired constantly.
Maybe one day I'll be able to eat a cookie or two after dinner at a friend's house and be satisfied, or buy a quart of ice cream and not constantly think about eating it, but I'm not there right now.
The week after the fast ended was awful. I started craving sugar to an extent where I did not experience any form of satiation. I just wanted more and more of it. And I came to a hard realization - for right now, it's not something that I can allow myself to have.
I whole-heartedly believe that when people are taking steps to change their eating behaviors, eating plans based on deprivation are bad ideas. Mostly because deprivation leads to binge-eating those things of which you are depriving yourself, which leads to guilt, which leads to self-sabotage. However, those of us that have been successful in any sort of weight loss program over the long-term also know that it's really important to identify trigger foods.
Unfortunately for me, pretty much anything that falls into the "sugary" category is a trigger food: cake, candy, chocolate, cookies, ice cream, etc. It doesn't matter - I crave it all, and once I have a little, I want more. And if I can't have something sugary, then I'll just start mindlessly eating in general.
I have to accept that for me, for right now, I'm better off without it. Not just because of my efforts to manage my weight, but also for my health in general. I just don't feel as good when I'm eating lots of sugar. My energy level is down, my blood sugar is all over the place, I have headaches, and I'm tired constantly.
Maybe one day I'll be able to eat a cookie or two after dinner at a friend's house and be satisfied, or buy a quart of ice cream and not constantly think about eating it, but I'm not there right now.
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