This weekend, I had the opportunity to travel to Philadelphia to catch up with an old friend and run my first half marathon. To be honest, this wasn't a race I was super excited about. I mean, I wasn't dreading it, but this was never really my goal race; it just fit nicely into my training schedule and was a good opportunity to take a mini-vacation. However, I still wanted to do my best.
There was a pretty major hitch in my plans starting the week of the race. Namely, I got sick. Not the worst of illnesses in the whole world, but I did come down with a virus that's being passed around which left me congested, tired, and with a killer sore throat. But I'd already committed to a weekend in Philly, and paid the exorbitant entrance fee, so I sucked it up and planned on completing the race regardless of how I was feeling.
The day before the race was awful - I didn't sleep well the night before and that was when the worst of my sinus pressure and congestion hit me. After spending the morning at the exhibit hall and then spending the afternoon touring Philadelphia, Cristin and I headed back to the hotel to rest for a little while. I ended up falling asleep and woke up feeling like I was hit by a truck. I took a super hot shower, which helped clear things up, but it wasn't looking good going into the race the next morning.
I had been praying that the Lord would grant me improved health by Sunday morning, and sure enough, I woke up feeling much, much better, but nowhere close to 100%. We got up early, ate a healthy breakfast, and then headed over to take pictures at the Rocky statue and run up the art museum steps before the race. Then we slowly made our way into our corral and waited until they let us start the race.
I started running and quickly sunk into a comfortable 10:30 mm pace. It was a little quicker than I'd been running, but it was a nice, cool morning, and the race route was really flat. I didn't feel like I was pushing myself too hard, so I just trusted my effort level. I was able to keep up that pace for the first half of the race, still feeling strong. My throat hurt, and I felt like my head was in a cloud - I had no awareness whatsoever of anything around me - but I felt good breathing-wise and leg-wise. At about the 9-mile mark, things started going downhill.
Runners know that a large portion of the ability to perform in races is having the mental toughness to push yourself when you want to quit. Probably because I had been sick and hadn't been sleeping well, my willpower was just not all there. Just before I hit the mile 10 marker, I stopped to take a break. The break ended up lasting 2 miles. I am pleased to say that I did pull it together to run in the last mile, and I ended up coming in right at 2 hours and 30 minutes. Had I been able to just slow down a little and jog those two miles, I probably would've made it in 2:22, but at least I'll know what I'm capable of for my next half-marathon.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Monday, August 29, 2011
One year ago
Yesterday I finished my long run for the week. It was 11 miles. This is not an overly challenging distance for me. I was running 11 mile long runs prior to even starting official marathon training. In some ways, it makes me feel like I'm stuck in limbo; like I'm not actually progressing towards my goal of finishing a 26.2 mile race. And then I think of where I was a year ago.
One year ago, I had experienced the first twinging in my knee. One year ago, I was running distances of 10 miles multiple days in a row. One year ago, I finished a long run of 18.7 miles on a knee that started hurting 4 miles in. One year ago, I set myself to be hurt to the point that my knee needed surgery and I wouldn't be able to run at all for many months.
A few weeks ago, I started getting nervous about the emphasis that my training schedule was placing on long runs. As a rule of thumb, most coaches would advise that the long run consists of 40% or less of your total weekly mileage. Mine was pushing 50%. So I switched to a plan that was heavy on mid-week distances and quality runs, and more conservative on the long-run distances.
I honestly don't know how it will pan out in the end, but I can tell you that although my knee is still a little twingey, it feels strong. I've made it a little bit closer to my marathon date without an injury. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned in all of this. Instead of relying on my efforts alone to get me to my goal, I have to have faith in the plan and the preparations.
Regardless of my performance on October 30th or the outcome of the race, I'm looking forward to at least getting to the starting line. That's a heck of a lot farther than I made it last year!
One year ago, I had experienced the first twinging in my knee. One year ago, I was running distances of 10 miles multiple days in a row. One year ago, I finished a long run of 18.7 miles on a knee that started hurting 4 miles in. One year ago, I set myself to be hurt to the point that my knee needed surgery and I wouldn't be able to run at all for many months.
A few weeks ago, I started getting nervous about the emphasis that my training schedule was placing on long runs. As a rule of thumb, most coaches would advise that the long run consists of 40% or less of your total weekly mileage. Mine was pushing 50%. So I switched to a plan that was heavy on mid-week distances and quality runs, and more conservative on the long-run distances.
I honestly don't know how it will pan out in the end, but I can tell you that although my knee is still a little twingey, it feels strong. I've made it a little bit closer to my marathon date without an injury. Maybe there's a lesson to be learned in all of this. Instead of relying on my efforts alone to get me to my goal, I have to have faith in the plan and the preparations.
Regardless of my performance on October 30th or the outcome of the race, I'm looking forward to at least getting to the starting line. That's a heck of a lot farther than I made it last year!
Monday, August 8, 2011
No Excuses
Marathon training was going along just fine, and then I just stopped wanting to run. Obviously, this is a problem I've dealt with in the past, but it's kind of critical if I'm going to successfully complete a marathon in three months that I not let that happen. So what do I do? Two things.
1 - I switched to a different training plan. This plan still builds weekly mileage, but puts less emphasis on the weekly long runs. It also mixes up the types of runs a little more each week, which means that I get to tour different parts of my neighborhood depending on whether I'm going to do track work or hills or fartleks or what not.
2 - I implemented "no excuses" week. No matter what, I will complete my work outs and eat well this week. Period. No excuses are acceptable. I just need a solid week or two to stick to my plan without waivering, and hopefully that will get me back on track.
So far I got my run in this morning (on a track, no less, which is a huge victory for me!). I'll let you know how the rest of the week goes!
1 - I switched to a different training plan. This plan still builds weekly mileage, but puts less emphasis on the weekly long runs. It also mixes up the types of runs a little more each week, which means that I get to tour different parts of my neighborhood depending on whether I'm going to do track work or hills or fartleks or what not.
2 - I implemented "no excuses" week. No matter what, I will complete my work outs and eat well this week. Period. No excuses are acceptable. I just need a solid week or two to stick to my plan without waivering, and hopefully that will get me back on track.
So far I got my run in this morning (on a track, no less, which is a huge victory for me!). I'll let you know how the rest of the week goes!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Funny thing...
One of my least favorite things to do each year is go in for my annual check-up. I like my doctor, and I know it's good to make sure there aren't any problems that I could be unaware of, but I just feel like it's usually so unnecessary. I don't have a history of serious ongoing medical problems (although, my list of random problems and issues that pop up is pretty impressive), and I'm perfectly fine going to the doctor if I have a concern. Regardless, I dutifully make my appointment to go every year because that's just what responsible people do.
Since I was there already, I decided I would finally ask my doctor about my weight. The struggle to get back to my pre-injury weight has been slow, and I still have at least ten more pounds to go. I was still trying to lose weight prior to when I got injured, so I was thinking that I would need to lose an additional 15 or so pounds beyond what I had previously weighed.
When I asked her what I should weigh, though, she got out her BMI wheel, looked at me, and told me that the BMI chart wouldn't give me a fair idea of what a realistic weight would be. Since I have a large frame and a muscular build (my interpretation is that she was describing as solid, hardy, sturdy), I was already at a healthy weight prior to getting hurt.
That's the first time I've ever heard a doctor say that I didn't need to lose weight, and unfortunately I heard it a year too late to appreciate it in the moment. But it does let me know that I am capable of achieving the one thing that I've felt has eluded me my entire life - good health.
Now I just need to lose these last ten pounds. Anything beyond that will just be a bonus!
Since I was there already, I decided I would finally ask my doctor about my weight. The struggle to get back to my pre-injury weight has been slow, and I still have at least ten more pounds to go. I was still trying to lose weight prior to when I got injured, so I was thinking that I would need to lose an additional 15 or so pounds beyond what I had previously weighed.
When I asked her what I should weigh, though, she got out her BMI wheel, looked at me, and told me that the BMI chart wouldn't give me a fair idea of what a realistic weight would be. Since I have a large frame and a muscular build (my interpretation is that she was describing as solid, hardy, sturdy), I was already at a healthy weight prior to getting hurt.
That's the first time I've ever heard a doctor say that I didn't need to lose weight, and unfortunately I heard it a year too late to appreciate it in the moment. But it does let me know that I am capable of achieving the one thing that I've felt has eluded me my entire life - good health.
Now I just need to lose these last ten pounds. Anything beyond that will just be a bonus!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A little push
I'm in week 3 of marathon training. So far, so good. Even though I'm using the same schedule I used last year, there are a few things I'm doing differently. Primarily, I'm actually strictly following the schedule.
Last time, I went into training thinking that since I started above the baseline capability for distance, I would just keep running the distances I had been until the schedule caught up with me. I'm not sure if that contributed to me getting hurt or not, but it probably did put some additional, unnecessary strain on my body. I'm also actually doing the speedwork drills the plan recommends.
I've never been fast, and honestly, that was never my goal. I just wanted to be able to prove to myself that I could run 26.2 miles at one time, so distance was always what was important to me. That's still mostly what's important to me, but I want to be able to run those 26.2 miles in a time I can be proud of. I want to know that when all is said in done, I not only ran a marathon, but I ran the best marathon I could. So I'm doing the speed drills.
I don't like speedwork. It's hard. It takes a lot of self discipline. A lot of times I want to throw up. And a lot more times I want to quit. But I'm pushing myself to do it. And the fun part is that after only a few weeks of incorporating one day of speedwork, I'm starting to see some results.
I don't think I've magically gotten faster in these few weeks. But I do think that I'm more comfortable pushing myself as a result. I'm learning that I haven't been giving myself enough credit. I've allowed myself to get comfortable performing at a level that is nowhere close to my potential.
It makes me wonder where else in my life have I let myself become complacent? Where am I comfortably settling into mediocrity instead of pushing myself to achieve my full potential? To be honest, I could easily a dozen areas in my life where that's the case. Maybe running isn't the only area where I need to give myself a little push.
Last time, I went into training thinking that since I started above the baseline capability for distance, I would just keep running the distances I had been until the schedule caught up with me. I'm not sure if that contributed to me getting hurt or not, but it probably did put some additional, unnecessary strain on my body. I'm also actually doing the speedwork drills the plan recommends.
I've never been fast, and honestly, that was never my goal. I just wanted to be able to prove to myself that I could run 26.2 miles at one time, so distance was always what was important to me. That's still mostly what's important to me, but I want to be able to run those 26.2 miles in a time I can be proud of. I want to know that when all is said in done, I not only ran a marathon, but I ran the best marathon I could. So I'm doing the speed drills.
I don't like speedwork. It's hard. It takes a lot of self discipline. A lot of times I want to throw up. And a lot more times I want to quit. But I'm pushing myself to do it. And the fun part is that after only a few weeks of incorporating one day of speedwork, I'm starting to see some results.
I don't think I've magically gotten faster in these few weeks. But I do think that I'm more comfortable pushing myself as a result. I'm learning that I haven't been giving myself enough credit. I've allowed myself to get comfortable performing at a level that is nowhere close to my potential.
It makes me wonder where else in my life have I let myself become complacent? Where am I comfortably settling into mediocrity instead of pushing myself to achieve my full potential? To be honest, I could easily a dozen areas in my life where that's the case. Maybe running isn't the only area where I need to give myself a little push.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
1 down, 19 to go!
I wasn't planning on an update today, but then I realized that it's been a week since my last blog post. Where has the time gone?!
To be honest, I don't feel like I have anything major to discuss or to note, but that in itself is noteworthy. I have finished my first week of official marathon training and I'm feeling good. I was nervous about increasing the frequency of my runs from 2-3 times a week to 5 times a week, but my knee seems to be holding out okay.
I guess the big reason I didn't feel I had much to write about was because I haven't had much that I was struggling with this past week. I've been looking forward to getting up and running, not trying to talk myself into just getting out of bed and putting my running clothes on. My head and heart have made a complete 180 from a few short weeks ago.
The funny thing is that these are the times that I should WANT to write about! The good feeling - when everything goes okay. I guess I take it for granted that there's no lesson to learn in these times, but there is! This is the pay-off for the frustration and difficulty that I've had to work through to get to this point. This is to be celebrated, and all praise directed to the Lord for His mercy.
On my run this morning, I remembered to thank God today for the strength He has given me, both physically and mentally. But I need to ask Him to also move my heart to cherish these good times and not take them for granted.
I have 19 weeks left to go. There's still plenty of time for things to go wrong, and plenty of opportunities to learn new lessons. For right now, I'll be thankful for the break!
To be honest, I don't feel like I have anything major to discuss or to note, but that in itself is noteworthy. I have finished my first week of official marathon training and I'm feeling good. I was nervous about increasing the frequency of my runs from 2-3 times a week to 5 times a week, but my knee seems to be holding out okay.
I guess the big reason I didn't feel I had much to write about was because I haven't had much that I was struggling with this past week. I've been looking forward to getting up and running, not trying to talk myself into just getting out of bed and putting my running clothes on. My head and heart have made a complete 180 from a few short weeks ago.
The funny thing is that these are the times that I should WANT to write about! The good feeling - when everything goes okay. I guess I take it for granted that there's no lesson to learn in these times, but there is! This is the pay-off for the frustration and difficulty that I've had to work through to get to this point. This is to be celebrated, and all praise directed to the Lord for His mercy.
On my run this morning, I remembered to thank God today for the strength He has given me, both physically and mentally. But I need to ask Him to also move my heart to cherish these good times and not take them for granted.
I have 19 weeks left to go. There's still plenty of time for things to go wrong, and plenty of opportunities to learn new lessons. For right now, I'll be thankful for the break!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Halfway
The last several months have been filled with uncountable frustrations and difficulties for me. Most of it was fueled by my injury and the havoc that wreaked on my daily routine. Regular exercise was out of the picture, and I was having a really hard time reigning in my eating habits. I've definitely struggled to maintain some control over my health, wellness, and fitness, and even though I managed to hang on without regaining all the weight I worked so hard to lose, I felt defeated.
I think I've reached a turning point in my efforts, though. For one thing, I'm excited about running again. It was a very strange experience to work so hard to be able to run and then not actually desire to go running once I was capable of it. I read an article in Runner's World recently that explained that some of that is related to fear of reinjuring yourself or of not being able to perform at your previous level, but most of it is simply because you're out of the routine. Hearing someone that had been a runner for two decades admit to the same struggle I was facing helped immensely.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've regained a lot of the enthusiasm for taking care of myself that I had lost. I've been eating much better, and I've been getting out and running on a more regular basis. This week I started my official marathon training. Following the prescribed schedule, I'll be cutting back on the distance of my long runs for a few weeks, but I'll be increasing my mid-week mileage (which means I'll be running five days a week instead of three). Having a schedule is good for me - it takes some of the pressure off of me to try to figure out what I should do/how far I should go.
I also have finally seen some significant results on the scale. I am now down 10 pounds from the most I weighed post-injury. I have about 10 more to go before I reach my pre-injury low (and unfortunately I had about another 15-20 to go before that). It took me six months to get back to this point. It was a difficult, emotionally challenging, frustrating six months, but being able to finally see these results validates the work, the determination, and the prayers that got me back here.
Maybe I'm halfway back to my pre-injury weight, but if I could measure the progress of my emotional and psychological health, my attitude, my heart, I think my spirit has progressed much, much farther than that. This experience has definitely tested my faith and determination, and I have a feeling that it will continue to test me. But I also know that every challenge we overcome makes us stronger, more confident, more faithful.
I make a point of praising God when I run. Maybe it hurts, maybe I want to throw up, maybe I'm tired and want to quit, but I'm capable of running, and I never regret the discomfort I went through once I'm back home.
Thank you, Lord, for my body that is strong and can run. Thank you for friends and family that have supported and encouraged me, especially when I was a depressed, emotional wreck. Thank you for showing me how strong I can be when I surrender my worries and cares to you.
I think I've reached a turning point in my efforts, though. For one thing, I'm excited about running again. It was a very strange experience to work so hard to be able to run and then not actually desire to go running once I was capable of it. I read an article in Runner's World recently that explained that some of that is related to fear of reinjuring yourself or of not being able to perform at your previous level, but most of it is simply because you're out of the routine. Hearing someone that had been a runner for two decades admit to the same struggle I was facing helped immensely.
Over the last couple of weeks, I've regained a lot of the enthusiasm for taking care of myself that I had lost. I've been eating much better, and I've been getting out and running on a more regular basis. This week I started my official marathon training. Following the prescribed schedule, I'll be cutting back on the distance of my long runs for a few weeks, but I'll be increasing my mid-week mileage (which means I'll be running five days a week instead of three). Having a schedule is good for me - it takes some of the pressure off of me to try to figure out what I should do/how far I should go.
I also have finally seen some significant results on the scale. I am now down 10 pounds from the most I weighed post-injury. I have about 10 more to go before I reach my pre-injury low (and unfortunately I had about another 15-20 to go before that). It took me six months to get back to this point. It was a difficult, emotionally challenging, frustrating six months, but being able to finally see these results validates the work, the determination, and the prayers that got me back here.
Maybe I'm halfway back to my pre-injury weight, but if I could measure the progress of my emotional and psychological health, my attitude, my heart, I think my spirit has progressed much, much farther than that. This experience has definitely tested my faith and determination, and I have a feeling that it will continue to test me. But I also know that every challenge we overcome makes us stronger, more confident, more faithful.
I make a point of praising God when I run. Maybe it hurts, maybe I want to throw up, maybe I'm tired and want to quit, but I'm capable of running, and I never regret the discomfort I went through once I'm back home.
Thank you, Lord, for my body that is strong and can run. Thank you for friends and family that have supported and encouraged me, especially when I was a depressed, emotional wreck. Thank you for showing me how strong I can be when I surrender my worries and cares to you.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Determination
I had an exciting breakthrough this week. I ran two days in a row for the first time in the last six months! Two back-to-back, muggy, sweaty 4.5-mile runs. It was exciting!
I'm going to be honest, though. I was not excited waking up two days ago for the second consecutive run. I was tired, I wanted to go back to bed, and my legs just felt heavy. But I had to get up to take the dogs out, then they wanted to eat, then they wanted to go on a walk. And I figured if I was going to do all that, I may as well just go ahead and do my run, too.
So I set out, and I had a really bad attitude going into it. The first three-quarters of a mile or so from my house is up a gradual hill, which is always a great way to start a reluctant run. And I kept telling myself that I wasn't in the mood and I probably wouldn't do it. But then I started thinking about a friend of mine.
My friend Jenn had knee surgery about a week after I did. We were never close friends, and we live in different corners of the U.S. now, but we were connected through facebook, we were both runners (her much more accomplished than I), and we were able to relate to the frustration of not being able to run due to injuries.
While my surgery and recover was pretty straightforward, Jenn experienced one setback after another. It has been six months now, and Jenn just ended up having a knee replacement to (hopefully) finally address the problems she's been having and get her back to living an active life.
During these last six months, I have had a lot of ups and downs. I've struggled with consistency and motivation. I've lost a lot of my innate desire to get up and go out for a run. It's been frustrating.
Something changed for me as I set out for my first two-in-a-row run, though - I started thanking God that I was even capable of putting one foot in front of another. Throughout all of her setbacks, Jenn has remained incredibly positive, encouraging, and faithful. And all this time I've been squandering the opportunities God has given me to glorify Him through my physical activity with a bad attitude.
My second run was tough. My legs felt heavy and dead. It was muggy and I was sluggish. But in a lot of ways, that has been one of my best runs, yet. Simply because I finally realized that my runs are not about me.
I run because I never thought I could. I run because other's can't. I run because it is a gift from God.
I'm going to be honest, though. I was not excited waking up two days ago for the second consecutive run. I was tired, I wanted to go back to bed, and my legs just felt heavy. But I had to get up to take the dogs out, then they wanted to eat, then they wanted to go on a walk. And I figured if I was going to do all that, I may as well just go ahead and do my run, too.
So I set out, and I had a really bad attitude going into it. The first three-quarters of a mile or so from my house is up a gradual hill, which is always a great way to start a reluctant run. And I kept telling myself that I wasn't in the mood and I probably wouldn't do it. But then I started thinking about a friend of mine.
My friend Jenn had knee surgery about a week after I did. We were never close friends, and we live in different corners of the U.S. now, but we were connected through facebook, we were both runners (her much more accomplished than I), and we were able to relate to the frustration of not being able to run due to injuries.
While my surgery and recover was pretty straightforward, Jenn experienced one setback after another. It has been six months now, and Jenn just ended up having a knee replacement to (hopefully) finally address the problems she's been having and get her back to living an active life.
During these last six months, I have had a lot of ups and downs. I've struggled with consistency and motivation. I've lost a lot of my innate desire to get up and go out for a run. It's been frustrating.
Something changed for me as I set out for my first two-in-a-row run, though - I started thanking God that I was even capable of putting one foot in front of another. Throughout all of her setbacks, Jenn has remained incredibly positive, encouraging, and faithful. And all this time I've been squandering the opportunities God has given me to glorify Him through my physical activity with a bad attitude.
My second run was tough. My legs felt heavy and dead. It was muggy and I was sluggish. But in a lot of ways, that has been one of my best runs, yet. Simply because I finally realized that my runs are not about me.
I run because I never thought I could. I run because other's can't. I run because it is a gift from God.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Unwasted Opportunities
Yesterday was Memorial Day, which means that we got an extra long weekend. Normally, I look forward to three-day weekends for their potential. I have a list of plans and expectations set before me. The problem is that I rarely follow through on those plans. The lure of refinishing my dresser loses out to an afternoon spent in the cool breeze of my central air conditioning watching mindless tv reruns on hulu.
That being the typical case, I'm happy to be able to inform you today that this past weekend was not another wasted opportunity. Yes, there was quite a bit of down time, but it was all well-deserved!
On Saturday, I willingly set my alarm for (and actually got up!) 5 am. I fed the animals, walked the dogs, and then headed to the bike trail to get a long run in. I am very excited to let y'all know that I hit a major breakthrough Saturday - 11 miles! I was completely drenched in sweat when I was done, and my hips were a little achey, but my knee felt good and I, in general, felt amazing for having finally crossed into double-digit distances. Praise God!
After church on Sunday, I laid down and rested for about an hour or so, and then I got up to tackle a project I'd been putting off for months and months. Last fall (maybe?) my neighbor's tree fell over the fence and a portion of it landed in my yard. He chopped it up with a chain saw, but never removed the branches. As spring sprang, in addition to a huge mess of random brush, grass and weeds also started growing up in the crevices of these branches until they were two to three feet tall. It took me three hours of sawing, clipping, and dragging, but I was able to clean up that corner of my yard and deposit the brush by the road for Monday's pick up. I also took the dogs on a four-mile walk since they were such good sports about the whole thing.
On Monday, I let myself sleep in a little (until 7!) and then took the dogs hiking at a trail about 40 minutes from my house. The trail is only about a mile and a half, but the elevation is over 3,000 feet, so it's pretty steep. It took us about an hour to get to the top, and a little less to get back down. The rest of the day was so hot that me and the dogs just hung out inside. In all fairness, I tried to take them for an afternoon walk, but after two blocks, the puppy laid down in the shade, so we just went home. :)
I didn't get in a lot of running (and there was an issue with my alarm clock this morning so I didn't go this morning, either), but I definitely got in a lot of really great activity. And the best part is that I woke up this morning without any knee pain.
I'm proud to be able to look back at the weekend and not wish that there was something I had done differently. That's the way I want to live my life.
That being the typical case, I'm happy to be able to inform you today that this past weekend was not another wasted opportunity. Yes, there was quite a bit of down time, but it was all well-deserved!
On Saturday, I willingly set my alarm for (and actually got up!) 5 am. I fed the animals, walked the dogs, and then headed to the bike trail to get a long run in. I am very excited to let y'all know that I hit a major breakthrough Saturday - 11 miles! I was completely drenched in sweat when I was done, and my hips were a little achey, but my knee felt good and I, in general, felt amazing for having finally crossed into double-digit distances. Praise God!
After church on Sunday, I laid down and rested for about an hour or so, and then I got up to tackle a project I'd been putting off for months and months. Last fall (maybe?) my neighbor's tree fell over the fence and a portion of it landed in my yard. He chopped it up with a chain saw, but never removed the branches. As spring sprang, in addition to a huge mess of random brush, grass and weeds also started growing up in the crevices of these branches until they were two to three feet tall. It took me three hours of sawing, clipping, and dragging, but I was able to clean up that corner of my yard and deposit the brush by the road for Monday's pick up. I also took the dogs on a four-mile walk since they were such good sports about the whole thing.
On Monday, I let myself sleep in a little (until 7!) and then took the dogs hiking at a trail about 40 minutes from my house. The trail is only about a mile and a half, but the elevation is over 3,000 feet, so it's pretty steep. It took us about an hour to get to the top, and a little less to get back down. The rest of the day was so hot that me and the dogs just hung out inside. In all fairness, I tried to take them for an afternoon walk, but after two blocks, the puppy laid down in the shade, so we just went home. :)
I didn't get in a lot of running (and there was an issue with my alarm clock this morning so I didn't go this morning, either), but I definitely got in a lot of really great activity. And the best part is that I woke up this morning without any knee pain.
I'm proud to be able to look back at the weekend and not wish that there was something I had done differently. That's the way I want to live my life.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Are you tough enough?
I've been having a tough time getting back on track with my running schedule and establishing a healthy plan. Every time I think I may be having a breakthrough, I end up taking one big huge gigantic leap backwards. It sucks.
This weekend was no exception. I'm not going to get into any details, but the idea of giving up just seemed to overwhelm me. My head was full of thoughts like "it's no use," "you're not going to accomplish your goals," "you're too weak," etc. So understandably, I went into my work outs and the week believing these lies.
As a result, I've been struggling. I tried to run twice earlier this week. Both times, I've gotten a short distance away from home and gave up. It doesn't make sense that I can go from running 9 and 10 miles to struggling to run 3 or 4 less than a week later, but that's the power of the mind, for you.
To overcome the struggle, I have to understand and acknowledge these lies for what they are and who they come from. They come from Satan, and they are his attempts to prevent me from glorifying God.
One of the things I learned as I started to run, and then become serious about training for longer distances, was that if left to my own devices, I would not choose to take care of myself. I had to learn that it was not my strength, but strength from the Lord that would sustain me, in a very real, physical way. As I would run up a tough hill or be on the last leg of a long run, when I would want to give up, I would pray that the joy of the Lord would be my strength.
I think recently, in the midst of these struggles, I lost sight of that. I was drawing on my own power, instead of leaning on Lord's strength, and my power wasn't enough to sustain me.
I managed to get a shaky 4.4 mile run in this morning. Not my best run, not an easy run, but I accomplished the goal that was set before me for this morning. About a mile in, the song "Hangin' Tough" by the New Kids on the Block started playing on my iPod. The song asks, "Are you tough enough?" By myself, I'm not. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
This weekend was no exception. I'm not going to get into any details, but the idea of giving up just seemed to overwhelm me. My head was full of thoughts like "it's no use," "you're not going to accomplish your goals," "you're too weak," etc. So understandably, I went into my work outs and the week believing these lies.
As a result, I've been struggling. I tried to run twice earlier this week. Both times, I've gotten a short distance away from home and gave up. It doesn't make sense that I can go from running 9 and 10 miles to struggling to run 3 or 4 less than a week later, but that's the power of the mind, for you.
To overcome the struggle, I have to understand and acknowledge these lies for what they are and who they come from. They come from Satan, and they are his attempts to prevent me from glorifying God.
One of the things I learned as I started to run, and then become serious about training for longer distances, was that if left to my own devices, I would not choose to take care of myself. I had to learn that it was not my strength, but strength from the Lord that would sustain me, in a very real, physical way. As I would run up a tough hill or be on the last leg of a long run, when I would want to give up, I would pray that the joy of the Lord would be my strength.
I think recently, in the midst of these struggles, I lost sight of that. I was drawing on my own power, instead of leaning on Lord's strength, and my power wasn't enough to sustain me.
I managed to get a shaky 4.4 mile run in this morning. Not my best run, not an easy run, but I accomplished the goal that was set before me for this morning. About a mile in, the song "Hangin' Tough" by the New Kids on the Block started playing on my iPod. The song asks, "Are you tough enough?" By myself, I'm not. But I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
Monday, May 16, 2011
It's not the heat, it's the humidity
Last week was slightly better than the previous week for me. I did two mid-week runs of four miles each, and then I had a very exciting long run on Sunday, which is what the bulk of this post will be about.
I am currently four weeks away from when I will start my formal marathon training. I'm going to use the same training schedule I used last year, I just will be running different routes (with fewer hills) and walking down any major hills that I may chance to encounter. I had a lot of doubts regarding whether or not I'd be ready to start training, but I am happy to tell you that those doubts have now been assuaged.
I was a little concerned that I would not be able to get a long run in this weekend because the weather forecast kept calling for storms all day Saturday AND Sunday. But when I woke up Sunday morning, the sky was clear and the sun was peaking out, so I brought my running clothes to church and made plans to go directly afterwards.
I got to the bike trail at about 10:30 am - I was thinking I would try to get in about eight miles, so I decided on a route and set off. The route I had chosen was a little more than seven miles, so I needed to add another detour on to make up the additional mile. I picked up a side trail that was about 1.2 miles to the end. I figured I could always just stop a mile from where I parked and walk back to the car. But it turns out I didn't have to walk. I ended up running 9.6 miles!
Because we were between thunderstorms, it was incredibly humid. I was drenched in sweat within half a mile probably. I also forgot about certain things I need to think about when it comes to long runs. 1) I really need to use vaseline on certain areas of my body to prevent chafing. It's usually just a problem where clothes rub certain ways, but it'll do me good to remember that in the future. 2) I have the hardest time eating anything for several hours afterwards. Fortunately for me, I didn't have a problem eating an excess of calories the previous day, so even though my consumption was light yesterday, I had plenty of fuel for my system. :)
The best part is that although my knee was sore yesterday, I woke up this morning with NO PAIN! I'm still going to be cautious with my training, but it looks like I may be able to accomplish my marathon completion goal this year. It's nice to have hope again!
I am currently four weeks away from when I will start my formal marathon training. I'm going to use the same training schedule I used last year, I just will be running different routes (with fewer hills) and walking down any major hills that I may chance to encounter. I had a lot of doubts regarding whether or not I'd be ready to start training, but I am happy to tell you that those doubts have now been assuaged.
I was a little concerned that I would not be able to get a long run in this weekend because the weather forecast kept calling for storms all day Saturday AND Sunday. But when I woke up Sunday morning, the sky was clear and the sun was peaking out, so I brought my running clothes to church and made plans to go directly afterwards.
I got to the bike trail at about 10:30 am - I was thinking I would try to get in about eight miles, so I decided on a route and set off. The route I had chosen was a little more than seven miles, so I needed to add another detour on to make up the additional mile. I picked up a side trail that was about 1.2 miles to the end. I figured I could always just stop a mile from where I parked and walk back to the car. But it turns out I didn't have to walk. I ended up running 9.6 miles!
Because we were between thunderstorms, it was incredibly humid. I was drenched in sweat within half a mile probably. I also forgot about certain things I need to think about when it comes to long runs. 1) I really need to use vaseline on certain areas of my body to prevent chafing. It's usually just a problem where clothes rub certain ways, but it'll do me good to remember that in the future. 2) I have the hardest time eating anything for several hours afterwards. Fortunately for me, I didn't have a problem eating an excess of calories the previous day, so even though my consumption was light yesterday, I had plenty of fuel for my system. :)
The best part is that although my knee was sore yesterday, I woke up this morning with NO PAIN! I'm still going to be cautious with my training, but it looks like I may be able to accomplish my marathon completion goal this year. It's nice to have hope again!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Mind over matter... but what's over mind?
I'm still struggling a lot with irregularity. Not the kind that could be resolved with proper fiber intake, but the kind that gets in my way of making and sticking to a running schedule.
So far my knee is holding up pretty well - a little achey, but 10 minutes of ice usually does the trick. I have successfully completed a few 7-mile runs at a time that I'm only slightly embarrassed to share with others. :) My hurdles at this point aren't physical, but mental.
Sunday was a fairly cool day, although a little humid. I went to the bike trail for my long run around noon. It had been two weeks since my last long run and I think I only went running one other time last week. Needless to say, the seven miles was painful. And I struggled through them in a way I hadn't in a while. I even had to stop and walk for a few seconds on two occasions.
I took a day off and set out this morning for a neighborhood run - about 4.5 miles. Honestly, it was brutal. My legs were still sore, and mentally, I did not want to go. Once I reached the turnaround point, I was feeling better, but the first 2 miles were torture. It got me thinking, though...
There's the common saying "Mind over matter" which basically means that no matter what obstacles you are facing, if you focus hard enough you can achieve your goals. Well, what happens when your mind is what's setting you up for failure? What do you do when you don't have the mental capacity to push yourself?
Typically when this happens to me, I'll end up praying to the Lord asking for His joy to be my strength. But I didn't do that today for whatever reason. Something kept pushing me that didn't come from MY mind or MY body. I can't explain what it was that was pushing me to continue to place one foot in front of the other. But I'm grateful for it.
So far my knee is holding up pretty well - a little achey, but 10 minutes of ice usually does the trick. I have successfully completed a few 7-mile runs at a time that I'm only slightly embarrassed to share with others. :) My hurdles at this point aren't physical, but mental.
Sunday was a fairly cool day, although a little humid. I went to the bike trail for my long run around noon. It had been two weeks since my last long run and I think I only went running one other time last week. Needless to say, the seven miles was painful. And I struggled through them in a way I hadn't in a while. I even had to stop and walk for a few seconds on two occasions.
I took a day off and set out this morning for a neighborhood run - about 4.5 miles. Honestly, it was brutal. My legs were still sore, and mentally, I did not want to go. Once I reached the turnaround point, I was feeling better, but the first 2 miles were torture. It got me thinking, though...
There's the common saying "Mind over matter" which basically means that no matter what obstacles you are facing, if you focus hard enough you can achieve your goals. Well, what happens when your mind is what's setting you up for failure? What do you do when you don't have the mental capacity to push yourself?
Typically when this happens to me, I'll end up praying to the Lord asking for His joy to be my strength. But I didn't do that today for whatever reason. Something kept pushing me that didn't come from MY mind or MY body. I can't explain what it was that was pushing me to continue to place one foot in front of the other. But I'm grateful for it.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Measuring Success
It's not a big secret that I'm a goal-oriented kind of girl. I do ridiculous things like register for marathons to motivate myself to stay active. As such, it's really, really important to me that I see progress on my way to accomplishing my goals. But progress is so subjective...
I am trying SO hard to get off the weight I gained when I got hurt. Until recently, I had a lot of mental hurdles I needed to overcome to get to a point where I felt more in control of my eating. Well, this past week, I really felt like I was on top of things. I had calorie deficits all but one day, I walked or ran five days out of the week, and I even passed on dessert when I took my mom out for dinner on her birthday.
Needless to say, I was actually excited to weigh myself yesterday morning to see how much progress I had made. Turns out that it wasn't that much. I was down about 0.4 pounds. Now, at least I was down, but still, I put in an awful lot of effort to see the scale "only" budge 0.4 pounds.
So what happens when you don't see the fruits of your labor? When your hard work doesn't show up in the outcome? I could easily throw my hands up in the air and give up. I want to do that a lot of times. But I have to remember how far I've come and I have to keep my goal in mind. Maybe I didn't make much progress this week, but all the small steps along the way lead up to big, measurable results as long as I don't give up my efforts.
On the plus side, I ran seven miles on Sunday and my pace was under 11 minutes per mile (down 27 seconds per mile from the week before). I might not see progress on the scale, but I am seeing it on the trail at least!
I am trying SO hard to get off the weight I gained when I got hurt. Until recently, I had a lot of mental hurdles I needed to overcome to get to a point where I felt more in control of my eating. Well, this past week, I really felt like I was on top of things. I had calorie deficits all but one day, I walked or ran five days out of the week, and I even passed on dessert when I took my mom out for dinner on her birthday.
Needless to say, I was actually excited to weigh myself yesterday morning to see how much progress I had made. Turns out that it wasn't that much. I was down about 0.4 pounds. Now, at least I was down, but still, I put in an awful lot of effort to see the scale "only" budge 0.4 pounds.
So what happens when you don't see the fruits of your labor? When your hard work doesn't show up in the outcome? I could easily throw my hands up in the air and give up. I want to do that a lot of times. But I have to remember how far I've come and I have to keep my goal in mind. Maybe I didn't make much progress this week, but all the small steps along the way lead up to big, measurable results as long as I don't give up my efforts.
On the plus side, I ran seven miles on Sunday and my pace was under 11 minutes per mile (down 27 seconds per mile from the week before). I might not see progress on the scale, but I am seeing it on the trail at least!
Thursday, April 14, 2011
Mid-week Check-in
Hello, friends.
This will be a quick post, just to let y'all know (all three of you!) that I've more or less stuck to my plan this week. Well, aside from not doing anything Monday to give myself a rest day after running SEVEN miles Sunday, and not actually getting up most mornings, I've stuck to my plan. I went running Tuesday morning and last (Wednesday) night. I did get up to take the dogs on a walk this morning, but because one of the dogs is a nine-week-old puppy that I'm fostering for a few days, we didn't go very far... or very fast. But she's cute, and we took a long walk last night, so maybe the two combined equal one regular morning walk? I don't know. She did stop and whine and I had to carry her for a little while, so I got the added bonus of doing some upper body strength training! :)
I've been eating better this week, too. I'm not sure what changed, but I started believing in myself again this week, which I think gave me the determination to say no to things I knew wouldn't help me meet my goals.
I've also started asking for help when I need it. Last weekend, I went out to dinner with some friends and then they were planning on getting frozen yogurt afterwards. I let one of the girls know what I was planning to eat ahead of time and told her I was going to skip the yogurt completely. Know what? It helped! It's hard to admit that I struggle with certain things, but God definitely blesses those who are open about their struggles and ask for support. Every time I see the rewards, it gets a little easier.
So now the challenge is to continue to build the momentum. Having a good week is amazing, but I need this to lead into a good second, third, and fourth week, too.
This will be a quick post, just to let y'all know (all three of you!) that I've more or less stuck to my plan this week. Well, aside from not doing anything Monday to give myself a rest day after running SEVEN miles Sunday, and not actually getting up most mornings, I've stuck to my plan. I went running Tuesday morning and last (Wednesday) night. I did get up to take the dogs on a walk this morning, but because one of the dogs is a nine-week-old puppy that I'm fostering for a few days, we didn't go very far... or very fast. But she's cute, and we took a long walk last night, so maybe the two combined equal one regular morning walk? I don't know. She did stop and whine and I had to carry her for a little while, so I got the added bonus of doing some upper body strength training! :)
I've been eating better this week, too. I'm not sure what changed, but I started believing in myself again this week, which I think gave me the determination to say no to things I knew wouldn't help me meet my goals.
I've also started asking for help when I need it. Last weekend, I went out to dinner with some friends and then they were planning on getting frozen yogurt afterwards. I let one of the girls know what I was planning to eat ahead of time and told her I was going to skip the yogurt completely. Know what? It helped! It's hard to admit that I struggle with certain things, but God definitely blesses those who are open about their struggles and ask for support. Every time I see the rewards, it gets a little easier.
So now the challenge is to continue to build the momentum. Having a good week is amazing, but I need this to lead into a good second, third, and fourth week, too.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Committing
I have a confession, friends. I have not been fully committed to regular runs, strength training, or a healthy nutrition plan. I've been running, I've been trying to eat well, but I haven't been committed. My efforts have been very half-hearted. Enough to keep me going, but not enough to help me progress in my goals. This has to change.
The biggest problem is that I haven't really been planning. I might make a loose plan ("I think I'm going to try..."), but nothing I've fully thought out, and therefore, nothing I've stuck to. I've let myself derail on my diet a number of times more than I can readily recall. It's been frustrating and discouraging, and I've wanted to throw in the towel so many times. The only reason I haven't is because I know what the outcome will be: 224 pounds.
I'm going into the upcoming week with a plan. 1) I will get up early each morning. I will run the neighborhood route on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I will walk a shorter route on Tuesday and Thursday. 2) I will go to the bike trail Saturday and get a long-ish run in. 3) I will not use social occasions as permission to indulge in foods that will not help me meet my goals. I'm going to dinner and frozen yogurt with some friends this weekend. I have already let one of them know what I am eating for dinner and that I will be passing on the frozen yogurt. It sucks that I have to rely on telling someone else to keep me accountability, but that's my reality right now, so there you have it. 4) I will NOT continue to give in to unplanned indulgences. I don't have any specific mechanism in place to accomplish this, but I am bound and determined to beat this behavior.
The good news is that I have fully committed to a half marathon in September and a full marathon in October. I know I'm capable of taking better care of myself than I have been, I just need to tap back into that will-power to move forward.
The biggest problem is that I haven't really been planning. I might make a loose plan ("I think I'm going to try..."), but nothing I've fully thought out, and therefore, nothing I've stuck to. I've let myself derail on my diet a number of times more than I can readily recall. It's been frustrating and discouraging, and I've wanted to throw in the towel so many times. The only reason I haven't is because I know what the outcome will be: 224 pounds.
I'm going into the upcoming week with a plan. 1) I will get up early each morning. I will run the neighborhood route on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and I will walk a shorter route on Tuesday and Thursday. 2) I will go to the bike trail Saturday and get a long-ish run in. 3) I will not use social occasions as permission to indulge in foods that will not help me meet my goals. I'm going to dinner and frozen yogurt with some friends this weekend. I have already let one of them know what I am eating for dinner and that I will be passing on the frozen yogurt. It sucks that I have to rely on telling someone else to keep me accountability, but that's my reality right now, so there you have it. 4) I will NOT continue to give in to unplanned indulgences. I don't have any specific mechanism in place to accomplish this, but I am bound and determined to beat this behavior.
The good news is that I have fully committed to a half marathon in September and a full marathon in October. I know I'm capable of taking better care of myself than I have been, I just need to tap back into that will-power to move forward.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I have the best running partner
I'm not going to lie - I hate running with other people. I have a few reasons for this. I'm an introvert, so running is a good opportunity for me to be alone with my thoughts. It's also really good prayer time for me. I also tend to be a bit on the slow side (especially since my injury), and I feel a little self-conscious running with other people for that specific reason.
But, there are definitely benefits to having a running partner. They offer accountability, motivation, and encouragement. And they also give you extra incentive to get out of bed early in the morning.
I have the perfect running partner. She's ready to run whenever I am. She doesn't try to talk to me. She always lets me set the pace. She doesn't whine about big hills. She doesn't give me a hard time if I need to walk on occasion, although she might try to urge me along if I have to stop to retie my shoelaces.
The only problem is that she likes to chase cats and scavenge for food scraps that people throw out their car windows. But I guess I can live with that.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Is there anything more motivating than new shoes?
Because my hips were so weak, when I went in to the fancy pants running store to get fitted for shoes last spring, I was told I was a severe over-pronator. That meant that my feet tended to collapse in when I ran. The kind folks at Riverside Runners hooked me up with some sweet Brooks that corrected my over-pronation woes and I was on my way. I loved those shoes. They made me feel like a real runner. They felt good on my feet. And they resolved a lot of the joint problems I was experiencing at the time. Then I got hurt. I went to physical therapy. And I was told that there was nothing wrong with the pronation in my feet - all the weakness was coming from my hips and that I should be wearing a neutral shoe and working on strengthening my hips. That was several months ago. Now that I'm starting to be able to run consistently again, I thought it was about time to actually follow the advice of my therapist. So on Saturday, cash in hand, I went back to the running store to find a new pair of shoes.
After explaining my situation and challenges to the saleswoman (the girl who helped me the very first time I bought shoes there!), I ended up trying on six different pairs of shoes. Out of all of those shoes (all sized for wide feet!), there was exactly one pair that did not rub against the little toes of my left foot. And based on that fact alone, I am now the proud owner of some sort of Saucony shoes that look an awful lot like my Brooks.
I finally got a chance to try them out this morning. So far, so good!
And hey, if nothing else, dropping $100 on new shoes in and of itself will motivate me to get out the door for a while!
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Self-Defeating
I'm going to be honest. The last two weeks have sucked for me. I think I've lost my initial excitement about being able to run in the struggle to figure out how I'm going to be able to work it into my daily life. Here's the problem:
I cannot run inside on a treadmill. I hate it. It feels like a death sentence to me.
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to try to start running in my neighborhood yet. My neighborhood is very hilly, which can exacerbate any weaknesses I still have. Also, in order to run in my neighborhood, I would primarily have to run on sidewalks, which are much harder than asphalt. That could also exacerbate any joint problems I already have.
I CAN run on the bike trail downtown - it's flat and the surface is asphalt. BUT I'm not going to run on it when it's dark for safety reasons and I can only get there during daylight hours on the weekends.
So what are my options?
I could just try running in my neighborhood to see how it goes. Maybe it won't hurt as long as I keep the runs short and don't go every day. I could try running around the office where I work. It's relatively flat, but I'd still have the sidewalk issue. I could try running around a track, but I honestly think that will result in the same problem I have with the treadmill. I could also just focus on walking during the week and save running for the weekends. I don't really want to do that, though - I'm trying to build up my strength and endurance which means I need to start building up my mileage.
These are just excuses. If I'm really committed to running, I'm going to make it work one way or another. This morning I woke up and confessed to God that I've been lazy, discouraged, and living in fear. I'm hoping to turn this around.
I will run tomorrow.
I cannot run inside on a treadmill. I hate it. It feels like a death sentence to me.
I'm not sure if it's a good idea to try to start running in my neighborhood yet. My neighborhood is very hilly, which can exacerbate any weaknesses I still have. Also, in order to run in my neighborhood, I would primarily have to run on sidewalks, which are much harder than asphalt. That could also exacerbate any joint problems I already have.
I CAN run on the bike trail downtown - it's flat and the surface is asphalt. BUT I'm not going to run on it when it's dark for safety reasons and I can only get there during daylight hours on the weekends.
So what are my options?
I could just try running in my neighborhood to see how it goes. Maybe it won't hurt as long as I keep the runs short and don't go every day. I could try running around the office where I work. It's relatively flat, but I'd still have the sidewalk issue. I could try running around a track, but I honestly think that will result in the same problem I have with the treadmill. I could also just focus on walking during the week and save running for the weekends. I don't really want to do that, though - I'm trying to build up my strength and endurance which means I need to start building up my mileage.
These are just excuses. If I'm really committed to running, I'm going to make it work one way or another. This morning I woke up and confessed to God that I've been lazy, discouraged, and living in fear. I'm hoping to turn this around.
I will run tomorrow.
Monday, March 14, 2011
The rhythm of running
I have a confession. I'm in a rut. I was so excited to be able to start running again, but I'm having trouble finding my rhythm again. I think a lot of it has to do with the amount of planning and preparation it takes to go on a run now.
Before I got injured, I would basically put on my shoes and walk out the front door. That was it. If it was a short run, I could take Abby with me and she would get some good exercise in with me. Otherwise, I would take her on a short walk first, drop her off at the house, and go on my way. It's not that easy any more, though.
First of all, I have to do a lot more to maintain my body in a condition where I'm able to run. In addition to time spent running, I have to spend time doing core strengthening and stretching and resting and icing. Second, I can't just walk out my door and go on a run because my neighborhood is too hilly. I have to drive somewhere else, somewhere mostly flat with no downhills. Because of the inconvenience imposed, I've found it difficult to get back into a routine.
I'm thankful that we have some nice bike trails in the area so I'm not completely confined to a treadmill, but I'm smart enough to know that running those trails alone when it's dark is a bad idea. So during the week, I'm largely stuck running on a treadmill, which mostly feels like torture for me.
I think a lot of the struggle I'm having right now is centered around the fact that I don't have a clear plan. I know I want to be healthy enough to start training for a marathon later this year, and I think I will be considering I ran five miles yesterday. But I don't have a specific schedule laid out right now that I'm trying to follow. My goal for this week will be to develop a schedule so I have some structure.
The initial thought I'm having is to stick to the trails and treadmill until I'm regularly running 6 miles or so without pain. Then I can start incorporating neighborhood and hill workouts into my schedule once or twice a week. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable running down hills again, but I can always walk those if I need to.
I need to try to remember that this situation is only temporary. By being conservative now, I set myself up for long-term success, which is the most important goal. I'm just tired of not being completely, 100% myself. I'm tired of all these restrictions. I'm looking forward to finding my rhythm again.
Before I got injured, I would basically put on my shoes and walk out the front door. That was it. If it was a short run, I could take Abby with me and she would get some good exercise in with me. Otherwise, I would take her on a short walk first, drop her off at the house, and go on my way. It's not that easy any more, though.
First of all, I have to do a lot more to maintain my body in a condition where I'm able to run. In addition to time spent running, I have to spend time doing core strengthening and stretching and resting and icing. Second, I can't just walk out my door and go on a run because my neighborhood is too hilly. I have to drive somewhere else, somewhere mostly flat with no downhills. Because of the inconvenience imposed, I've found it difficult to get back into a routine.
I'm thankful that we have some nice bike trails in the area so I'm not completely confined to a treadmill, but I'm smart enough to know that running those trails alone when it's dark is a bad idea. So during the week, I'm largely stuck running on a treadmill, which mostly feels like torture for me.
I think a lot of the struggle I'm having right now is centered around the fact that I don't have a clear plan. I know I want to be healthy enough to start training for a marathon later this year, and I think I will be considering I ran five miles yesterday. But I don't have a specific schedule laid out right now that I'm trying to follow. My goal for this week will be to develop a schedule so I have some structure.
The initial thought I'm having is to stick to the trails and treadmill until I'm regularly running 6 miles or so without pain. Then I can start incorporating neighborhood and hill workouts into my schedule once or twice a week. I don't know if I'll ever feel comfortable running down hills again, but I can always walk those if I need to.
I need to try to remember that this situation is only temporary. By being conservative now, I set myself up for long-term success, which is the most important goal. I'm just tired of not being completely, 100% myself. I'm tired of all these restrictions. I'm looking forward to finding my rhythm again.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Out Of Control
I went a whole week with very limited sugar intake. And it honestly wasn't that difficult. At the end of the week, even though I wasn't particularly craving anything sugary or desserty, I broke the fast with some frozen yogurt. It was delicious. But I felt like I had opened Pandora's Box by eating that small bowl of chocolate and peanut butter sugary sweetness.
The week after the fast ended was awful. I started craving sugar to an extent where I did not experience any form of satiation. I just wanted more and more of it. And I came to a hard realization - for right now, it's not something that I can allow myself to have.
I whole-heartedly believe that when people are taking steps to change their eating behaviors, eating plans based on deprivation are bad ideas. Mostly because deprivation leads to binge-eating those things of which you are depriving yourself, which leads to guilt, which leads to self-sabotage. However, those of us that have been successful in any sort of weight loss program over the long-term also know that it's really important to identify trigger foods.
Unfortunately for me, pretty much anything that falls into the "sugary" category is a trigger food: cake, candy, chocolate, cookies, ice cream, etc. It doesn't matter - I crave it all, and once I have a little, I want more. And if I can't have something sugary, then I'll just start mindlessly eating in general.
I have to accept that for me, for right now, I'm better off without it. Not just because of my efforts to manage my weight, but also for my health in general. I just don't feel as good when I'm eating lots of sugar. My energy level is down, my blood sugar is all over the place, I have headaches, and I'm tired constantly.
Maybe one day I'll be able to eat a cookie or two after dinner at a friend's house and be satisfied, or buy a quart of ice cream and not constantly think about eating it, but I'm not there right now.
The week after the fast ended was awful. I started craving sugar to an extent where I did not experience any form of satiation. I just wanted more and more of it. And I came to a hard realization - for right now, it's not something that I can allow myself to have.
I whole-heartedly believe that when people are taking steps to change their eating behaviors, eating plans based on deprivation are bad ideas. Mostly because deprivation leads to binge-eating those things of which you are depriving yourself, which leads to guilt, which leads to self-sabotage. However, those of us that have been successful in any sort of weight loss program over the long-term also know that it's really important to identify trigger foods.
Unfortunately for me, pretty much anything that falls into the "sugary" category is a trigger food: cake, candy, chocolate, cookies, ice cream, etc. It doesn't matter - I crave it all, and once I have a little, I want more. And if I can't have something sugary, then I'll just start mindlessly eating in general.
I have to accept that for me, for right now, I'm better off without it. Not just because of my efforts to manage my weight, but also for my health in general. I just don't feel as good when I'm eating lots of sugar. My energy level is down, my blood sugar is all over the place, I have headaches, and I'm tired constantly.
Maybe one day I'll be able to eat a cookie or two after dinner at a friend's house and be satisfied, or buy a quart of ice cream and not constantly think about eating it, but I'm not there right now.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Marathon Training
I know I already posted that I went ahead and registered for the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon, but because the general registration has been opened and the marathon has already sold out, it's time for another post about my marathon running plans.
Prior to recent events, I was very tentative about the idea of being able to train and participate in a 2011 marathon. I wasn't sure if my body was up to it or if my knee would recuperate quickly enough for that to be a real possibility. I realize that I need to take my recovery slow and not push my body too hard, at least not yet, but I'm much more optimistic that this will be the year I officially become a marathon runner.
I've run several two mile runs with no lasting pain. Of course, these runs have been on very flat terrain or treadmills with a 1.0% incline, but it's two more miles than I could run six months ago. The previous training schedule I used was a 20-week schedule and it picked up where a runner could comfortable run 6 miles. I'll need to start following the training schedule mid-June. That means that by about the end of May I need to comfortably be able to run six miles. That's three months. I think it's realistic.
The Marine Corps Marathon is unique in that it is the third or fourth largest marathon in the U.S. and it is THE largest marathon that doesn't offer a cash prize to the winners. Because of this, it has been nicknamed "The People's Marathon." I think that's appropriate. The people that choose to run the MCM really have nothing to gain (well, maybe going for the BQ time?) other than pride in accomplishing a goal alongside thousands of other participants.
Competitive runners sometimes cringe at amateur runners like myself participating in marathons. My goal is not to win, my goal is merely to finish. Does it disrespect the sport? I don't think so. I think it creates a lot more respect. It's one thing to be able to survive running 26.2 miles - it's another thing to maintain a pace of 5:45 per mile the entire way, something I don't think I'll even be able to do for a single mile in my lifetime. I don't think mere participation in a marathon disrespects running any more than playing a recreational softball team disrespects professional baseball. We're not all going to be all-star athletes, but isn't the important thing that we can share enjoyment of a sport at our individual levels?
I'm looking forward to running my first marathon with thousands of other people that just want to finish. If I decide to do it a second time (and if my body will allow it), maybe I'll consider adding a little more competition into the mix!
Prior to recent events, I was very tentative about the idea of being able to train and participate in a 2011 marathon. I wasn't sure if my body was up to it or if my knee would recuperate quickly enough for that to be a real possibility. I realize that I need to take my recovery slow and not push my body too hard, at least not yet, but I'm much more optimistic that this will be the year I officially become a marathon runner.
I've run several two mile runs with no lasting pain. Of course, these runs have been on very flat terrain or treadmills with a 1.0% incline, but it's two more miles than I could run six months ago. The previous training schedule I used was a 20-week schedule and it picked up where a runner could comfortable run 6 miles. I'll need to start following the training schedule mid-June. That means that by about the end of May I need to comfortably be able to run six miles. That's three months. I think it's realistic.
The Marine Corps Marathon is unique in that it is the third or fourth largest marathon in the U.S. and it is THE largest marathon that doesn't offer a cash prize to the winners. Because of this, it has been nicknamed "The People's Marathon." I think that's appropriate. The people that choose to run the MCM really have nothing to gain (well, maybe going for the BQ time?) other than pride in accomplishing a goal alongside thousands of other participants.
Competitive runners sometimes cringe at amateur runners like myself participating in marathons. My goal is not to win, my goal is merely to finish. Does it disrespect the sport? I don't think so. I think it creates a lot more respect. It's one thing to be able to survive running 26.2 miles - it's another thing to maintain a pace of 5:45 per mile the entire way, something I don't think I'll even be able to do for a single mile in my lifetime. I don't think mere participation in a marathon disrespects running any more than playing a recreational softball team disrespects professional baseball. We're not all going to be all-star athletes, but isn't the important thing that we can share enjoyment of a sport at our individual levels?
I'm looking forward to running my first marathon with thousands of other people that just want to finish. If I decide to do it a second time (and if my body will allow it), maybe I'll consider adding a little more competition into the mix!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Sugar-free, that's me!
It's no secret to anyone that knows me that I LOVE things that are sweet. Cookies, cake, ice cream, chocolate, hard candy, pie, brownies... I love it all! I love it a little too much. My consumption of these delicious, sugary goodies has been causing me a lot of problems in my efforts to re-lose the 12 lbs that I gained while unable to work out. So I decided to do something about it. I decided to commit to going a full week without any sugar from these types of sources.
I've tried to do this before, and I failed. I couldn't commit. My heart wasn't in it. But last week, I just decided enough was enough. There was sugar all around me for Valentine's Day and I lost control. I didn't like it.
In a moment of frustration, I emailed my dear friend Rachel from Minnesota who is my fitness accountability buddy (and also has a very good blog at becausethefloundersaysso.blogspot.com) and told her that I'd had enough and I was going to fast from sugary, desserty-type food for a week.
To be clear, I didn't commit to going completely sugar-free for a week. I still ate fruit. There was sugar in my yogurt that I wasn't too concerned about. There was probably sugar in my tomato sauce, bread, ketchup, beans, whatever else I might have eaten that I didn't prepare 100% from scratch. And I still put honey on my peanut butter and banana breakfast sandwiches. But I laid off the things that I would consider to fall into the dessert category.
I thought it was going to be very, very difficult. I wasn't sure if I could do it or not. But I guess my mind and body had finally had enough and I actually made it an entire week without these delicious items. Do you what else is amazing? It honestly wasn't that difficult. Yes, there were times when I craved something sweet, but I felt so good without having all that extra crap in my body that I think it more than compensated for not having that sweet taste in my mouth.
I also realized that sweets are a much bigger trigger food for me than I ever thought. I think what would happen is I would lose control around sweets, feel like I went way off track, and then just throw my whole eating plan for the day out the window. Without losing control of the sweets situation, I was able to stay much more focused on making good eating decisions with all the other food groups available to me. A bag of Dorito's lasted AN ENTIRE WEEK in my house. AMAZING!
I successfully completed the fast. I'm allowed to eat dessert today. I'm just just not sure if I want to!
I've tried to do this before, and I failed. I couldn't commit. My heart wasn't in it. But last week, I just decided enough was enough. There was sugar all around me for Valentine's Day and I lost control. I didn't like it.
In a moment of frustration, I emailed my dear friend Rachel from Minnesota who is my fitness accountability buddy (and also has a very good blog at becausethefloundersaysso.blogspot.com) and told her that I'd had enough and I was going to fast from sugary, desserty-type food for a week.
To be clear, I didn't commit to going completely sugar-free for a week. I still ate fruit. There was sugar in my yogurt that I wasn't too concerned about. There was probably sugar in my tomato sauce, bread, ketchup, beans, whatever else I might have eaten that I didn't prepare 100% from scratch. And I still put honey on my peanut butter and banana breakfast sandwiches. But I laid off the things that I would consider to fall into the dessert category.
I thought it was going to be very, very difficult. I wasn't sure if I could do it or not. But I guess my mind and body had finally had enough and I actually made it an entire week without these delicious items. Do you what else is amazing? It honestly wasn't that difficult. Yes, there were times when I craved something sweet, but I felt so good without having all that extra crap in my body that I think it more than compensated for not having that sweet taste in my mouth.
I also realized that sweets are a much bigger trigger food for me than I ever thought. I think what would happen is I would lose control around sweets, feel like I went way off track, and then just throw my whole eating plan for the day out the window. Without losing control of the sweets situation, I was able to stay much more focused on making good eating decisions with all the other food groups available to me. A bag of Dorito's lasted AN ENTIRE WEEK in my house. AMAZING!
I successfully completed the fast. I'm allowed to eat dessert today. I'm just just not sure if I want to!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
To God be the Glory
Last week I was feeling really discouraged about not seeing progress in my running ability. It's sad how often I sell God short. If I had just been patient one more teensy little week, my discouragement would never have surfaced. Know why? Because I was able to run this weekend!!!!
It was a beautiful weekend for February in Virginia. Way too pretty to stay inside. So Abigail (my dog) and I set off for the bike trail down town to go on a nice long walk on Saturday. The section we were walking is about 2.75 miles in one direction, so 5.5 miles "round trip." I hadn't planned on running, but it was such a pretty day, and we were out anyway, that I thought I would just try it and see what happened. And lo and behold, 3/4 of a mile later, my knee was just starting to twinge a little!
We went back Sunday morning (after church, of course) and this time I ran a full mile on the way out, and a full mile on the way back! And then I had yesterday (Monday) off, so we went back again and I ran TWO FULL MILES! It wasn't fast, and I'm sure it wasn't pretty, but it was running for a legitimate distance - the farthest I've been able to run since I started having problems in September! My knee was a little achey after that, but I iced it when I got home and I woke up this morning without any pain. Praise the Lord, oh my soul!
I'm incredibly excited for this development, but I think my challenge now is going to be to not push myself too hard too quickly. I need to be content with two miles for right now. I also need to make sure I continue to incorporate strength training and stretching into my regular exercise routine. It's been a long, difficult process to recover from this injury. I want to make sure I don't have to go through it again!
To God be the glory, great things He has done!
It was a beautiful weekend for February in Virginia. Way too pretty to stay inside. So Abigail (my dog) and I set off for the bike trail down town to go on a nice long walk on Saturday. The section we were walking is about 2.75 miles in one direction, so 5.5 miles "round trip." I hadn't planned on running, but it was such a pretty day, and we were out anyway, that I thought I would just try it and see what happened. And lo and behold, 3/4 of a mile later, my knee was just starting to twinge a little!
We went back Sunday morning (after church, of course) and this time I ran a full mile on the way out, and a full mile on the way back! And then I had yesterday (Monday) off, so we went back again and I ran TWO FULL MILES! It wasn't fast, and I'm sure it wasn't pretty, but it was running for a legitimate distance - the farthest I've been able to run since I started having problems in September! My knee was a little achey after that, but I iced it when I got home and I woke up this morning without any pain. Praise the Lord, oh my soul!
I'm incredibly excited for this development, but I think my challenge now is going to be to not push myself too hard too quickly. I need to be content with two miles for right now. I also need to make sure I continue to incorporate strength training and stretching into my regular exercise routine. It's been a long, difficult process to recover from this injury. I want to make sure I don't have to go through it again!
To God be the glory, great things He has done!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Rest for the Weary
I'm going to be honest. I'm a little cranky this morning. I've been having problems with my neighbor's dog. It barked incessantly from the time I got home at 9:30 pm until I eventually fell asleep with a pillow held over my head around midnight. Turns out that even though it's a violation of the local noise ordinance, the police can't charge anyone with anything if no one's home to sign for the violation. So that meant I went to bed last night listening to the soothing sound of a large dog barking.
I have to make a confession. I haven't done any type of physical activity since Sunday. That includes my PT. I've been tired and my knee's been hurting. I took Abby (my dog) for a long walk on Sunday morning after church, and my knee hurt all day afterwards. So I decided to take a little break, give my knee some rest, and diligently applied ice. It's still a little achey, but the pain has dissipated significantly. I have a feeling that it's a result of the inclines and declines, as small as they are. My neighborhood is not exactly flat, and the slopes exacerbate any problems. So for right now it looks like I'm sticking to tracks and the treadmill which means Abigail doesn't get to go on anymore long walks for the time being.
I'm planning on heading to the gym tonight after work. I really, really need to get back into a regular PT and strength-training routine. I feel okay about taking a few days off. I was getting frustrated by not seeing the results and my schedule was wearing on me. It's tough to get up at 4:30 am, especially when the neighbor's dog is keeping me up well past my normal bedtime. But I can't let that become a habit. I've been struggling with my knee problems for too long to give up now. Six months, in fact. I haven't been able to run since September 2010.
A few weeks ago, one of my Bible Study Fellowship questions asked about an area in your life where you were feeling exhausted by trying to control a situation. For me, this is it. I'm tired of getting up early, of being stuck in a gym instead of pounding the pavement, of feeling self-conscious about spending 45 minutes on a floor mat in the back of the fitness center at the Y, of being sore, of not being able to function normally. I'm tired of the monotony and tediousness of my PT.
The solution? Don't try to control the situation - trust God with it. I can't control when my body will be healed, or even if it will be healed. All I can do is continue to do the PT and trust God with the outcome. I'm still going to be tired, and I'm still going to get frustrated from time to time, but I have the source of infinite power to draw strength from. When my energy is depleted, I can rest in the arms of a loving God who loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me. All of me. Even my knee.
I have to make a confession. I haven't done any type of physical activity since Sunday. That includes my PT. I've been tired and my knee's been hurting. I took Abby (my dog) for a long walk on Sunday morning after church, and my knee hurt all day afterwards. So I decided to take a little break, give my knee some rest, and diligently applied ice. It's still a little achey, but the pain has dissipated significantly. I have a feeling that it's a result of the inclines and declines, as small as they are. My neighborhood is not exactly flat, and the slopes exacerbate any problems. So for right now it looks like I'm sticking to tracks and the treadmill which means Abigail doesn't get to go on anymore long walks for the time being.
I'm planning on heading to the gym tonight after work. I really, really need to get back into a regular PT and strength-training routine. I feel okay about taking a few days off. I was getting frustrated by not seeing the results and my schedule was wearing on me. It's tough to get up at 4:30 am, especially when the neighbor's dog is keeping me up well past my normal bedtime. But I can't let that become a habit. I've been struggling with my knee problems for too long to give up now. Six months, in fact. I haven't been able to run since September 2010.
A few weeks ago, one of my Bible Study Fellowship questions asked about an area in your life where you were feeling exhausted by trying to control a situation. For me, this is it. I'm tired of getting up early, of being stuck in a gym instead of pounding the pavement, of feeling self-conscious about spending 45 minutes on a floor mat in the back of the fitness center at the Y, of being sore, of not being able to function normally. I'm tired of the monotony and tediousness of my PT.
The solution? Don't try to control the situation - trust God with it. I can't control when my body will be healed, or even if it will be healed. All I can do is continue to do the PT and trust God with the outcome. I'm still going to be tired, and I'm still going to get frustrated from time to time, but I have the source of infinite power to draw strength from. When my energy is depleted, I can rest in the arms of a loving God who loves me unconditionally and wants the best for me. All of me. Even my knee.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Down, but not out
I must admit, I've been a little bit of a slacker this week. I skipped my work out Monday because I stayed up too late watching the Super Bowl. I also skipped my work out this morning because I worked out last night and thought I needed more than 6 hours to recover. But I had a really, really good work out last night, so I think it'll be okay. Plus, I'll at least do some of my PT exercises tonight at some point, so it's not a complete wash.
I've been struggling with self-pity for the last week. Being injured is difficult on several levels. In addition to the physical pain, there's also emotional and mental exhaustion that sets in, and I've been feeling the results of that recently. I'm very diligent about doing at least some sort of exercise every day. I know that the secret to getting better is to force my body to work hard and I'm committed to that. But it's monotonous. It's tedious. It takes a lot of time. It's exhausting (to work out in the mornings, I have to wake up around 4:30!). And I'm not seeing the results I want to, yet. As much as I try to stay positive, I'm feeling discouraged.
I fully understand that I'm not going to just bounce back like nothing's happened, but I feel like I have been putting the work in and sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to see the fruits of that labor.
It just so happened that we were studying Isaiah 41 in my Bible study last week. In this particular chapter, Isaiah is prophesying to the Israelites about events that are going to happen far into the future - he's telling them that they are going to be conquered and exiled, but that they don't have to worry because God has a plan for them. Isaiah goes on to encourage them by telling them (from the Lord):
“But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, you descendants of Abraham my friend, I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Although my situation is far different from being taken captive and exiled far away from my home for many, many years, these words of encouragement really struck me. I am exhausted, I am anxious, I'm scared, and I don't know what the future holds. But I do know the One that is more powerful, loving, and generous than anyone could ever imagine, and I know that I can trust the Lord with my discouragement, exhaustion, and fear. I can depend on him for strength and help.
Last night, I went to the gym and was able to take my time during my work out. I didn't have to rush to get through everything. After my weight-lifting and isometrics and stretching, I tried something I haven't done in a while - I got on the stationary bike. I completed a hill workout set at level 5 with absolutely no knee pain.
I can't run right now - that makes me a little sad. But I am thankful that my body is slowly getting back to a mostly functional state. If I take the time to look to God, I'll see that I really am progressing and getting stronger. It may not be on my timeline, but He has a plan for allowing me to use my body for His glory.
I've been struggling with self-pity for the last week. Being injured is difficult on several levels. In addition to the physical pain, there's also emotional and mental exhaustion that sets in, and I've been feeling the results of that recently. I'm very diligent about doing at least some sort of exercise every day. I know that the secret to getting better is to force my body to work hard and I'm committed to that. But it's monotonous. It's tedious. It takes a lot of time. It's exhausting (to work out in the mornings, I have to wake up around 4:30!). And I'm not seeing the results I want to, yet. As much as I try to stay positive, I'm feeling discouraged.
I fully understand that I'm not going to just bounce back like nothing's happened, but I feel like I have been putting the work in and sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to see the fruits of that labor.
It just so happened that we were studying Isaiah 41 in my Bible study last week. In this particular chapter, Isaiah is prophesying to the Israelites about events that are going to happen far into the future - he's telling them that they are going to be conquered and exiled, but that they don't have to worry because God has a plan for them. Isaiah goes on to encourage them by telling them (from the Lord):
“But you, Israel, my servant, Jacob, whom I have chosen, you descendants of Abraham my friend, I took you from the ends of the earth, from its farthest corners I called you. I said, ‘You are my servant’; I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Although my situation is far different from being taken captive and exiled far away from my home for many, many years, these words of encouragement really struck me. I am exhausted, I am anxious, I'm scared, and I don't know what the future holds. But I do know the One that is more powerful, loving, and generous than anyone could ever imagine, and I know that I can trust the Lord with my discouragement, exhaustion, and fear. I can depend on him for strength and help.
Last night, I went to the gym and was able to take my time during my work out. I didn't have to rush to get through everything. After my weight-lifting and isometrics and stretching, I tried something I haven't done in a while - I got on the stationary bike. I completed a hill workout set at level 5 with absolutely no knee pain.
I can't run right now - that makes me a little sad. But I am thankful that my body is slowly getting back to a mostly functional state. If I take the time to look to God, I'll see that I really am progressing and getting stronger. It may not be on my timeline, but He has a plan for allowing me to use my body for His glory.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
All on my own
Before I get started with my regular blog, there are a few loose ends I should wrap up. First, I'm doing a good job incorporating my nine servings of fruits and vegetables into my diet. Considering that a serving is really just half a cup (a full cup for leafy greens), most whole fruits and vegetables count for more than one serving. It really hasn't been that bad. Second, I'm doing a horrible job at cutting out sugar. I thought I had it yesterday, but it got the better of me. I'm going to have to come up with some strategies to quit cold turkey, though. I'm glad I never started on drugs or cigarettes - I'd never be able to quit! I'm still trying to seriously limit my sugar intake, though, so I'll keep y'all posted on how that goes.
I had my LAST visit with Dr. Gondi (on this particular issue - I'll be keeping him busy for years with other ailments) last Friday. I really like him. He gave me a hug. :) And he fixed me! I'm still experiencing some pain on the lower part of my knee, but it's not what was hurting before, so it's most likely muscular pain and some minor tendinitis that will hopefully resolve itself as I continue to get stronger. With that determination, he officially released me. That means I no longer have a doctor or a physical therapist.
It's a little overwhelming to me, to be honest. I don't feel like I'm ready to be on my own. I still have knee pain and I still can't really run. I have the tools to keep getting better on my own, but I feel like it's a lot of responsibility that I'm not quite ready for. I asked Wanda how I'd know when I was able to run, and she said, "You just try it and if it hurts, you stop." That's so scary to hear. I want to be able to run again so badly, but I'm terrified that I'm going to try too soon and re-injure myself.
Do I really know my body well enough to know when I'm pushing too hard or not hard enough? Have I learned enough during this process to understand how to interpret different kinds of pain? I guess I'll find out one way or the other.
Usually when I write these posts, it's because I've had some sort of realization or moment of clarity related to understanding why my injury occured or what lessons I can learn and apply from the experience. Today, all I have is a lot of confusion, questions, and fears. I'm nervous, and I'm overwhelmed. Despite that, I'm going to trust that the exercises Wanda gave me are going to continue to make me stronger.
And if all else fails, I know a great orthopaedic doctor...
I had my LAST visit with Dr. Gondi (on this particular issue - I'll be keeping him busy for years with other ailments) last Friday. I really like him. He gave me a hug. :) And he fixed me! I'm still experiencing some pain on the lower part of my knee, but it's not what was hurting before, so it's most likely muscular pain and some minor tendinitis that will hopefully resolve itself as I continue to get stronger. With that determination, he officially released me. That means I no longer have a doctor or a physical therapist.
It's a little overwhelming to me, to be honest. I don't feel like I'm ready to be on my own. I still have knee pain and I still can't really run. I have the tools to keep getting better on my own, but I feel like it's a lot of responsibility that I'm not quite ready for. I asked Wanda how I'd know when I was able to run, and she said, "You just try it and if it hurts, you stop." That's so scary to hear. I want to be able to run again so badly, but I'm terrified that I'm going to try too soon and re-injure myself.
Do I really know my body well enough to know when I'm pushing too hard or not hard enough? Have I learned enough during this process to understand how to interpret different kinds of pain? I guess I'll find out one way or the other.
Usually when I write these posts, it's because I've had some sort of realization or moment of clarity related to understanding why my injury occured or what lessons I can learn and apply from the experience. Today, all I have is a lot of confusion, questions, and fears. I'm nervous, and I'm overwhelmed. Despite that, I'm going to trust that the exercises Wanda gave me are going to continue to make me stronger.
And if all else fails, I know a great orthopaedic doctor...
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
You could be doing that at home
Yesterday was Monday. And it was the first Monday morning in over a month that I didn't spend in physical therapy at the orthopaedic center. I've been diligent about going to the gym the last couple of weeks, and I was excited that I could really establish a routine now. The weightlifting (still upper body only for weights) has been going well - I'm getting more confident going into the weight room by myself - and I've been able to add brisk walking into the mix.
It's nice to have the option to add some different activities to my morning routine, but I also need to make sure I'm incorporating the strengthening and stretching exercises for my legs. So in between lifting my whopping 10 and 15 pound weights and walking at a brisk pace of 4.0 mph, I've been spending a fair amount of time in the back corner of the gym with the floor mat.
I don't do the same thing every day - I try to make sure that throughout the week, I'm getting most of my exercises in. Sometimes I use their stability ball, but for the most part, it's just me and the floor mat. In the middle of doing some side planks yesterday, one of the gentlemen I frequently see in the morning made the comment, "You could be doing that at home."
It's true - I could be doing all those things at home. In fact, for a long time, I did do them at home. But there's something different about doing them at the gym. It feels like there's more of an investment. At home, I find excuses to stop early or to put my exercises off. At the gym, I have a chunk of time that I've already set aside for that specific purpose.
There's also a certain amount of social pressure at the gym. Not really in the sense that other people care about what I'm doing, but in the sense that I care how I look in case anyone else is watching. I'll push myself harder at the gym. I'll hold my planks for the full 30 seconds instead of giving up at 20. I'll make sure I hold my wall sits for a full 10 seconds, and that I do all 20 repititions of the swiss ball bridges, even though my hamstrings are screaming.
The other people at the gym don't know what my goals are, and I'm sure they don't care. But because there's a possibility that someone could be paying attention to anything that I'm doing, I'm going to push myself just a little bit harder.
Yes, I could be doing that at home. But I do it much better at the gym!
It's nice to have the option to add some different activities to my morning routine, but I also need to make sure I'm incorporating the strengthening and stretching exercises for my legs. So in between lifting my whopping 10 and 15 pound weights and walking at a brisk pace of 4.0 mph, I've been spending a fair amount of time in the back corner of the gym with the floor mat.
I don't do the same thing every day - I try to make sure that throughout the week, I'm getting most of my exercises in. Sometimes I use their stability ball, but for the most part, it's just me and the floor mat. In the middle of doing some side planks yesterday, one of the gentlemen I frequently see in the morning made the comment, "You could be doing that at home."
It's true - I could be doing all those things at home. In fact, for a long time, I did do them at home. But there's something different about doing them at the gym. It feels like there's more of an investment. At home, I find excuses to stop early or to put my exercises off. At the gym, I have a chunk of time that I've already set aside for that specific purpose.
There's also a certain amount of social pressure at the gym. Not really in the sense that other people care about what I'm doing, but in the sense that I care how I look in case anyone else is watching. I'll push myself harder at the gym. I'll hold my planks for the full 30 seconds instead of giving up at 20. I'll make sure I hold my wall sits for a full 10 seconds, and that I do all 20 repititions of the swiss ball bridges, even though my hamstrings are screaming.
The other people at the gym don't know what my goals are, and I'm sure they don't care. But because there's a possibility that someone could be paying attention to anything that I'm doing, I'm going to push myself just a little bit harder.
Yes, I could be doing that at home. But I do it much better at the gym!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Graduation Day
Yesterday was my last day of physical therapy. While I'm going to miss Wanda, I am excited that I've progressed enough to be completely personally responsible for my recovery from this point forward. This is where my motivation and drive will really be tested. Do I want my recovery badly enough to put in the hard work without any external forces pushing me? Right now, I do. But sometimes the larger goal gets lost in the monotony of the daily tedium, so it's going to take some will power.
However, it's been really exciting to see the progress I've made, and I think being able to experience the tangible results of my hard work will provide an awful lot of incentive. When I first started therapy after my surgery, I could only partially bend my knee, I experienced pain walking up and down stairs, and I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes at a time. Today I walked down a flight of stairs with no pain and I walked on a treadmill for 2 miles. And yesterday I actually ran! It was only for 30 seconds on the treadmill, and that was long enough for me to feel some pain in my knee and realize I wasn't ready yet, but still, I ran!
I'm definitely not in the clear yet. Even though I'm done with PT, I'm in no way close to being healed. This is just one benchmark along the road to recovery. There's still a possibility (and a pretty good likelihood if I'm honest with myself) that I'll experience setbacks and pain and frustration. But that's kind of the point of a benchmark, right? Despite those setbacks, I have a mark in place that lets me know I've progressed.
I'm looking forward to continuing my progression and establishing new benchmarks. For right now, though, it's just nice to be on the treadmill again.
However, it's been really exciting to see the progress I've made, and I think being able to experience the tangible results of my hard work will provide an awful lot of incentive. When I first started therapy after my surgery, I could only partially bend my knee, I experienced pain walking up and down stairs, and I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes at a time. Today I walked down a flight of stairs with no pain and I walked on a treadmill for 2 miles. And yesterday I actually ran! It was only for 30 seconds on the treadmill, and that was long enough for me to feel some pain in my knee and realize I wasn't ready yet, but still, I ran!
I'm definitely not in the clear yet. Even though I'm done with PT, I'm in no way close to being healed. This is just one benchmark along the road to recovery. There's still a possibility (and a pretty good likelihood if I'm honest with myself) that I'll experience setbacks and pain and frustration. But that's kind of the point of a benchmark, right? Despite those setbacks, I have a mark in place that lets me know I've progressed.
I'm looking forward to continuing my progression and establishing new benchmarks. For right now, though, it's just nice to be on the treadmill again.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Nine a day?!?!
Typically, I use this blog to talk about my physical activity. That's definitely an important part of my recovery. However, as I have been unable to do any real rigorous physical activity the last several months, I've also noticed that I have not been very careful regarding my nutrition. As I'm able to start using my body more and more, I'm also trying to focus on improving the quality of the foods I eat. This has proved to be very, very challenging for me!
While on Weight Watchers, I did a pretty good job planning my meals, sticking to my daily points, and writing down everything I ate. Then I started slacking about writing everything down. And then I started slacking about sticking to my daily points. And then I stopped planning out what I was going to eat ahead of time. And then I gained back 15 pounds.
I really wanted to lose that 15 pounds again before I started attempting to run again, but it's been an incredibly difficult challenge. A lot of what motivated me to eat well is knowing that I need certain nutrients to fuel my body for long runs. When I had to stop running, I lost a lot of my motivation. Now I'm trying to get back to practicing good eating habits. It honestly SHOULD be motivated by my desire to be healthy - I should just WANT to do things to take care of my body, especially when I know that I feel better, stronger, happier when I make good choices. But at the same time, our bodies learn to crave certain foods.
For me, making good choices involves two types of thinking. 1) Mind over matter. Yes, I want sugar and fat, but I just need to decide to stop eating those things for a while and eventually it will become easier to resist those types of foods. 2) I feel good about myself when I make good choices. I can do more things, I have more energy, and I'm more pleasant to be around. I have to endure the first type of thinking for a while, and then hopefully I'll get into a rhythm and the second type of thinking kicks in. I have a secret, though - I'm not there yet!
My roommate recently informed me that the food pyramid requirements have changed and that we're now supposed to eat nine servings of fruits and vegetables a day (a serving is 1/2 cup for everything but leafy greens; a serving size of leafy greens is 1 cup). As a disclaimer, I have not verified this information. To be honest, I think that's a little bit unrealistic to tell the general public they need nine servings of fruits and vegetables when most of us probably aren't even getting the five they previously required in on a consistent basis. But I've been eating a lot of junk food and I want to focus on "detoxing" my body from all the sodium and sugar I've been feeding it, so I'm game to give it a try for a week.
What this means is that for the next week, I'm going to focus on more vegetable- and bean-based meals. I made eggplant parmesan and roasted brussel sprouts last night, which should last for a few days. (I honestly have never really eaten eggplant or brussel sprouts before; I'm not really sure why I decided to focus on two new foods at the same time, but hopefully it'll work out okay.) That should give me about four servings. I have applesauce every day with my lunch, which brings me up to five servings. I was going to get bananas to put in my oatmeal, but the grocery store was out of them for some reason last night. But that will give me at least two more servings. So now I just need to fit in two more servings somehow. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm also going to try really, really hard not to have desserts or pre-processed foods for the next week. In general, I don't believe in depriving yourself of things you really enjoy. However, I have a hard time satiating my sweet tooth, so I think it's better for me to stay clear of it for a while before I can trust myself to enjoy a reasonable portion at a time and not go overboard.
Besides, I don't think I'm going to have many free calories left over after eating all those veggies!
While on Weight Watchers, I did a pretty good job planning my meals, sticking to my daily points, and writing down everything I ate. Then I started slacking about writing everything down. And then I started slacking about sticking to my daily points. And then I stopped planning out what I was going to eat ahead of time. And then I gained back 15 pounds.
I really wanted to lose that 15 pounds again before I started attempting to run again, but it's been an incredibly difficult challenge. A lot of what motivated me to eat well is knowing that I need certain nutrients to fuel my body for long runs. When I had to stop running, I lost a lot of my motivation. Now I'm trying to get back to practicing good eating habits. It honestly SHOULD be motivated by my desire to be healthy - I should just WANT to do things to take care of my body, especially when I know that I feel better, stronger, happier when I make good choices. But at the same time, our bodies learn to crave certain foods.
For me, making good choices involves two types of thinking. 1) Mind over matter. Yes, I want sugar and fat, but I just need to decide to stop eating those things for a while and eventually it will become easier to resist those types of foods. 2) I feel good about myself when I make good choices. I can do more things, I have more energy, and I'm more pleasant to be around. I have to endure the first type of thinking for a while, and then hopefully I'll get into a rhythm and the second type of thinking kicks in. I have a secret, though - I'm not there yet!
My roommate recently informed me that the food pyramid requirements have changed and that we're now supposed to eat nine servings of fruits and vegetables a day (a serving is 1/2 cup for everything but leafy greens; a serving size of leafy greens is 1 cup). As a disclaimer, I have not verified this information. To be honest, I think that's a little bit unrealistic to tell the general public they need nine servings of fruits and vegetables when most of us probably aren't even getting the five they previously required in on a consistent basis. But I've been eating a lot of junk food and I want to focus on "detoxing" my body from all the sodium and sugar I've been feeding it, so I'm game to give it a try for a week.
What this means is that for the next week, I'm going to focus on more vegetable- and bean-based meals. I made eggplant parmesan and roasted brussel sprouts last night, which should last for a few days. (I honestly have never really eaten eggplant or brussel sprouts before; I'm not really sure why I decided to focus on two new foods at the same time, but hopefully it'll work out okay.) That should give me about four servings. I have applesauce every day with my lunch, which brings me up to five servings. I was going to get bananas to put in my oatmeal, but the grocery store was out of them for some reason last night. But that will give me at least two more servings. So now I just need to fit in two more servings somehow. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm also going to try really, really hard not to have desserts or pre-processed foods for the next week. In general, I don't believe in depriving yourself of things you really enjoy. However, I have a hard time satiating my sweet tooth, so I think it's better for me to stay clear of it for a while before I can trust myself to enjoy a reasonable portion at a time and not go overboard.Besides, I don't think I'm going to have many free calories left over after eating all those veggies!
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Do you want to be a toughie or a tubby?
I recently started going back to the gym. Because the activities I used to do at the gym are off limits for the time-being, I thought this would be a good opportunity to work on some of the activities I generally avoid. Namely, weight- and strength-training. Specifically for my upper body. As someone who largely avoided gyms except to use the pool and the treadmill, this was a completely new universe for me, and I needed some help.
I started going to a new church in the fall of last year and got involved in a small group. I found out a couple of the guys went to my gym, and they kindly agreed to help me get started. I am very grateful to Mark, who willingly met me at 6:30 am on a morning when he didn't have to be at work until 10, and for Rick, who provided a great deal of instruction and comic-relief. Apparently, weight-lifting is more effective when you make faces in the mirror. Who knew?!
In addition to providing me with a greater sense of purpose in the YMCA weight room, Mark and Rick also shared their personal work-out motto with me: Do you want to be a toughie or a tubby? When they first told me their motto, it made me laugh... a lot. But it's grown on me a lot these last few days.
They use it in terms of motivating each other to finish their work-outs, especially if they run into circumstances where one or the other doesn't want to do a certain activity. It definitely makes sense in that capacity. But I've been finding myself saying it more to myself outside the gym - specifically when I have to make decisions about what I eat.
I have to remember that the effectiveness of my work-out isn't over just because I've left the locker room. For some reason, it's really easy for me to leave the gym and then act like I never did anything good for my body. I'll crave sugar-laden mochas and chocolate chip cookies instead of fruit and yogurt and lean proteins. But by making those poor nutritional choices, I'm working against accomplishing my fitness goals. I say I want to be a "toughie" in the gym, but then I leave and I make "tubby" decisions. That's got to change - pronto.
I'm gonna be a toughie... all the way!
I started going to a new church in the fall of last year and got involved in a small group. I found out a couple of the guys went to my gym, and they kindly agreed to help me get started. I am very grateful to Mark, who willingly met me at 6:30 am on a morning when he didn't have to be at work until 10, and for Rick, who provided a great deal of instruction and comic-relief. Apparently, weight-lifting is more effective when you make faces in the mirror. Who knew?!
In addition to providing me with a greater sense of purpose in the YMCA weight room, Mark and Rick also shared their personal work-out motto with me: Do you want to be a toughie or a tubby? When they first told me their motto, it made me laugh... a lot. But it's grown on me a lot these last few days.
They use it in terms of motivating each other to finish their work-outs, especially if they run into circumstances where one or the other doesn't want to do a certain activity. It definitely makes sense in that capacity. But I've been finding myself saying it more to myself outside the gym - specifically when I have to make decisions about what I eat.
I have to remember that the effectiveness of my work-out isn't over just because I've left the locker room. For some reason, it's really easy for me to leave the gym and then act like I never did anything good for my body. I'll crave sugar-laden mochas and chocolate chip cookies instead of fruit and yogurt and lean proteins. But by making those poor nutritional choices, I'm working against accomplishing my fitness goals. I say I want to be a "toughie" in the gym, but then I leave and I make "tubby" decisions. That's got to change - pronto.
I'm gonna be a toughie... all the way!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Balancing Act
Balance. It's something we learn as tiny babies. First we learn to sit up without falling over. Then we learn to stand. Then walking. We learn to jump, to stand on one foot, to hop, skip, lean forward or side to side, and we learn to run. All of these activities require balance. It should be something that is second nature to each of us.
Eventually, we learn to understand that balance is integral to stability. And not just in a physical sense. We have to learn to balance work and play, extracurricular activities, time with ourselves and time with others. We have to learn to balance priorities.
I learned an important lesson last week in physical therapy - my balance was off. I had no idea. I was doing what seemed like a simple exercise when Wanda pointed out that I was leaning back - I thought I was leaning forward. Then my very generous friend Mark agreed to help me get started lifting weights at the Y. He realized my left shoulder was several inches higher than my right; when he corrected me, I felt like I was literally leaning to the left.
This was an important realization. Think about it - if my balance is off just standing up which puts extra strain on certain areas, think about the strain that I was putting on my body when I was running 30 and 40 miles per week. When runners start putting in long runs of 15 miles or so, it's pretty typical for fatigue to set in and for their form to collapse. This happens when the core weakens. Well, I was never actually using my core to effectively support myself, which means for the entire distance of my runs, I was overly reliant on the wrong muscles.
So now an integral part of my therapy is focused on improving the strength of my core muscles. Some of the exercises I like, some of them I don't, but before I can run again, I need to learn to sit, stand, and walk correctly. I need to relearn how to balance correctly - a lesson I learned for the first time about 30 years ago. That's a lot of retraining!
This got me thinking about other areas of my life, though. Are my priorities in balance? How about the way I spend my time? What I think about? Where I place my trust? My emotional stability?
I'm learning to rebalance physically, but I don't want to waste the momentum I have right now to miss the opportunity to rebalance emotionally, spiritually, and mentally as well. I'm pretty open about my struggles, but I'm not always good about taking the necessary steps to work through my weaknesses. I know that I struggle with staying motivated to eat well, but I continue to focus my efforts on "powering through it" instead of addressing the underlying reasons why. Maybe it's because my balance is off and I'm relying on the wrong spiritual and emotional muscles. As I learned, I can get away with being off balance in the short-term, but it leads to major complications in the long-term.
Physically, I need to focus on strengthening my core. I need to strengthen my spiritual core, too.
Eventually, we learn to understand that balance is integral to stability. And not just in a physical sense. We have to learn to balance work and play, extracurricular activities, time with ourselves and time with others. We have to learn to balance priorities.
I learned an important lesson last week in physical therapy - my balance was off. I had no idea. I was doing what seemed like a simple exercise when Wanda pointed out that I was leaning back - I thought I was leaning forward. Then my very generous friend Mark agreed to help me get started lifting weights at the Y. He realized my left shoulder was several inches higher than my right; when he corrected me, I felt like I was literally leaning to the left.
This was an important realization. Think about it - if my balance is off just standing up which puts extra strain on certain areas, think about the strain that I was putting on my body when I was running 30 and 40 miles per week. When runners start putting in long runs of 15 miles or so, it's pretty typical for fatigue to set in and for their form to collapse. This happens when the core weakens. Well, I was never actually using my core to effectively support myself, which means for the entire distance of my runs, I was overly reliant on the wrong muscles.
So now an integral part of my therapy is focused on improving the strength of my core muscles. Some of the exercises I like, some of them I don't, but before I can run again, I need to learn to sit, stand, and walk correctly. I need to relearn how to balance correctly - a lesson I learned for the first time about 30 years ago. That's a lot of retraining!
This got me thinking about other areas of my life, though. Are my priorities in balance? How about the way I spend my time? What I think about? Where I place my trust? My emotional stability?
I'm learning to rebalance physically, but I don't want to waste the momentum I have right now to miss the opportunity to rebalance emotionally, spiritually, and mentally as well. I'm pretty open about my struggles, but I'm not always good about taking the necessary steps to work through my weaknesses. I know that I struggle with staying motivated to eat well, but I continue to focus my efforts on "powering through it" instead of addressing the underlying reasons why. Maybe it's because my balance is off and I'm relying on the wrong spiritual and emotional muscles. As I learned, I can get away with being off balance in the short-term, but it leads to major complications in the long-term.
Physically, I need to focus on strengthening my core. I need to strengthen my spiritual core, too.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Decision Time!
I got an email two days ago that makes me very excited and apprehensive at the same time. The email was from the Marine Corps Marathon and it was my deferment letter. Since I got hurt last year and couldn't run, I had the option to defer my registration until the next year. Well, the next year's now here!
My PT is going very well, but I still haven't run since September of last year, and I don't know how long it's going to be before I can start running again. Is it possible that I can go from 0 to 26.2 in ten months? What about nine months? Eight? And perhaps the more important question: Is it safe for me to attempt this again so soon after my surgery?
My goal is definitely to avoid making the same mistakes this time around. When I start running again, I want to be smart and healthy about it. I'm already working towards that goal with the work I'm doing in PT. I know a marathon is in my future, but is it in my future for 2011?
I sure hope so. On January 19, I'm registering for the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon.
My PT is going very well, but I still haven't run since September of last year, and I don't know how long it's going to be before I can start running again. Is it possible that I can go from 0 to 26.2 in ten months? What about nine months? Eight? And perhaps the more important question: Is it safe for me to attempt this again so soon after my surgery?
My goal is definitely to avoid making the same mistakes this time around. When I start running again, I want to be smart and healthy about it. I'm already working towards that goal with the work I'm doing in PT. I know a marathon is in my future, but is it in my future for 2011?
I sure hope so. On January 19, I'm registering for the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Why me?
It's a simple question, but it gets asked often, usually when we're faced with some sort of challenge or difficult situation that we don't want to deal with. We wonder, "Why did this happen to me?" When I hear someone use this phrase, there's usually an implication that it should have happened to someone else.
Well, I don't generally think that way. When I ask "Why me?" it's usually to examine my own behavior, motives, or actions to determine what I may have done that resulted in the less than ideal outcome. Getting injured led to a lot of these questions.
I hope my friends all know that my faith is very important to me. I strive and struggle to be a woman of God, but like everyone else in this world, I am a flawed being and often fall short. Whenever adversity strikes, my tendency is to go back and examine my life to determine whether it was actually caused by something I did. Did I get injured because I was spending too much of my time focusing on running and not using that time to spend with God? Was I taking too much credit for my meager accomplishments instead of turning that towards God? Was I taking time away from something else God wanted me to be doing instead? Was God using this to get my attention?
Honestly, I don't know the answers to those questions. But I also don't think those are the right questions to ask. My injury definitely was caused by something I did, at least in a physical sense. But the more important question to ask is "What am I going to do about it now?"
I'm a big fan of J.R.R. Tolkien. My favorite quote from the Lord of the Rings is when Frodo is talking to Gandalf. Frodo has taken possession of the ring of power and is realizing that he has a very difficult task before him. Frodo tells Gandolf that he wishes the ring had never come to him. Gandalf responds by saying, "So do all who live to face such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
So what am I going to do about the time that has been given to me? I'm going to learn and grow from it. I'm going to be stronger, smarter, healthier, and more well-rounded. I'm going to trust God to heal my body, and turn that glory back to Him. I'm going to thank God every time I'm able to take a step without pain, everytime I feel my legs shaking after a grueling physical therapy session, every time I even consider hitting the snooze button instead of getting up for my morning work out. I'm going to thank God for the ability to use my body again.
I'm going to give up on the "why me" and focus on the "what now."
Well, I don't generally think that way. When I ask "Why me?" it's usually to examine my own behavior, motives, or actions to determine what I may have done that resulted in the less than ideal outcome. Getting injured led to a lot of these questions.
I hope my friends all know that my faith is very important to me. I strive and struggle to be a woman of God, but like everyone else in this world, I am a flawed being and often fall short. Whenever adversity strikes, my tendency is to go back and examine my life to determine whether it was actually caused by something I did. Did I get injured because I was spending too much of my time focusing on running and not using that time to spend with God? Was I taking too much credit for my meager accomplishments instead of turning that towards God? Was I taking time away from something else God wanted me to be doing instead? Was God using this to get my attention?
Honestly, I don't know the answers to those questions. But I also don't think those are the right questions to ask. My injury definitely was caused by something I did, at least in a physical sense. But the more important question to ask is "What am I going to do about it now?"
I'm a big fan of J.R.R. Tolkien. My favorite quote from the Lord of the Rings is when Frodo is talking to Gandalf. Frodo has taken possession of the ring of power and is realizing that he has a very difficult task before him. Frodo tells Gandolf that he wishes the ring had never come to him. Gandalf responds by saying, "So do all who live to face such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us."
So what am I going to do about the time that has been given to me? I'm going to learn and grow from it. I'm going to be stronger, smarter, healthier, and more well-rounded. I'm going to trust God to heal my body, and turn that glory back to Him. I'm going to thank God every time I'm able to take a step without pain, everytime I feel my legs shaking after a grueling physical therapy session, every time I even consider hitting the snooze button instead of getting up for my morning work out. I'm going to thank God for the ability to use my body again.
I'm going to give up on the "why me" and focus on the "what now."
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Where am I now?
It's January 11, 2011. That means that I'm five days shy of being a month out of surgery. My knee's doing well, but recovery is a process and I'm not running and jumping around just yet.
About a week and a half after my surgery, I started physical therapy (PT). I went through physical therapy prior to having surgery, so I'm no stranger to the process. But going through PT after surgery is much different than it was before surgery.
Let me take a second to give the Orthopoedic Center of Central Virginia a shout-out. Because of vacation scheduling, I wasn't able to go back to the same therapist I saw prior to the surgery, but I've had fantastic experiences both times. Rachel really knew what she was doing, and it was fun to work with such an accomplished athlete. This time I'm working with Wanda, who is an incredibly positive person and makes showing up to do grueling, tedious exercises a joy. Thank you, ladies!
That said, I have a tendency to think of therapy as well... therapy. That's not really the case. As I mentioned in my last post, one of the two biggest reasons I ended up injured was because my hips and glutes were too weak to support the distances I was running, which caused strain on my IT band (this is really common in endurance runners). Both times the "therapy" I've been doing has been targeted at improving the strength of those muscles, as well as my other support muscles. I'm up to more than 20 exercises that I mostly do every day - it takes me about an hour and a half to get through everything. And let me tell you, these are not easy exercises!
Prior to getting injured, I pretty much had no interest or patience for laying on the floor to do strengthening exercises. I'm a goal-oriented person, and I'm also a big-picture person. I knew people said that core and strength training were important, but I didn't understand why so it wasn't a priority for me. Like everyone else, my time is limited. I chose to focus on running, not strengthening. I didn't understand the consequences of that decision.
And I also didn't really understand what that meant. Running was never something I knew much about. I thought it was easy - put on your shoes, go out the door, and start moving your feet. I started to lose weight. I kept going because I enjoyed the quiet time alone with my thoughts. I decided to run a marathon to prove to myself that I could do it. But I didn't know much about it.
Well, I can't run right now. That's frustrating. But I'm developing an appreciation for the time I spend on the floor very carefully and meticulously going through various exercises that push me to the point where I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to finish my set. I now understand that time isn't wasted. Just because I'm not running during that time doesn't mean I'm not becoming a better, stronger, healthier runner.
It's been an expensive, painful lesson, but I'm grateful for the knowledge I have now. I look forward to putting it to good use.
About a week and a half after my surgery, I started physical therapy (PT). I went through physical therapy prior to having surgery, so I'm no stranger to the process. But going through PT after surgery is much different than it was before surgery.
Let me take a second to give the Orthopoedic Center of Central Virginia a shout-out. Because of vacation scheduling, I wasn't able to go back to the same therapist I saw prior to the surgery, but I've had fantastic experiences both times. Rachel really knew what she was doing, and it was fun to work with such an accomplished athlete. This time I'm working with Wanda, who is an incredibly positive person and makes showing up to do grueling, tedious exercises a joy. Thank you, ladies!
That said, I have a tendency to think of therapy as well... therapy. That's not really the case. As I mentioned in my last post, one of the two biggest reasons I ended up injured was because my hips and glutes were too weak to support the distances I was running, which caused strain on my IT band (this is really common in endurance runners). Both times the "therapy" I've been doing has been targeted at improving the strength of those muscles, as well as my other support muscles. I'm up to more than 20 exercises that I mostly do every day - it takes me about an hour and a half to get through everything. And let me tell you, these are not easy exercises!
Prior to getting injured, I pretty much had no interest or patience for laying on the floor to do strengthening exercises. I'm a goal-oriented person, and I'm also a big-picture person. I knew people said that core and strength training were important, but I didn't understand why so it wasn't a priority for me. Like everyone else, my time is limited. I chose to focus on running, not strengthening. I didn't understand the consequences of that decision.
And I also didn't really understand what that meant. Running was never something I knew much about. I thought it was easy - put on your shoes, go out the door, and start moving your feet. I started to lose weight. I kept going because I enjoyed the quiet time alone with my thoughts. I decided to run a marathon to prove to myself that I could do it. But I didn't know much about it.
Well, I can't run right now. That's frustrating. But I'm developing an appreciation for the time I spend on the floor very carefully and meticulously going through various exercises that push me to the point where I'm wondering if I'm going to be able to finish my set. I now understand that time isn't wasted. Just because I'm not running during that time doesn't mean I'm not becoming a better, stronger, healthier runner.
It's been an expensive, painful lesson, but I'm grateful for the knowledge I have now. I look forward to putting it to good use.
Monday, January 10, 2011
What I didn't know about running (and other tips to be smarter than I was)
Before I share my very limited wisdom about running, let me start off this blog entry by saying that I was down a pound at my weekly morning weigh-in. Yay! I did really well sticking to my eating plan during the week, but I tend to struggle a lot on the weekends. This weekend was no exception. So I'm glad that despite a couple of less than perfect days, I still managed to see some results from my careful eating throughout the week.
Okay, now for the good stuff...
Any runner is used to hearing comments about how hard running is on your body or how "bad" running is for you. In some senses, it's true. Yes, running is hard on your joints and can lead to serious issues. Believe me, I'm well aware of this. But running is also a really, really good cardiovascular activity. I have never done anything else that burns nearly as many calories as running. It's easy, you don't need a lot of equipment, it's accessible, relatively inexpensive, and to be honest, many people out there genuinely enjoy it. Besides, if the choice is between running and not doing anything, do you really think not doing anything is healthier?
Now, there are ways to be smart about it, many of which I did not pay any attention to, which is at least partially why I ended up injured and needing surgery. So please, please learn from my mistakes!
Okay, now for the good stuff...
Any runner is used to hearing comments about how hard running is on your body or how "bad" running is for you. In some senses, it's true. Yes, running is hard on your joints and can lead to serious issues. Believe me, I'm well aware of this. But running is also a really, really good cardiovascular activity. I have never done anything else that burns nearly as many calories as running. It's easy, you don't need a lot of equipment, it's accessible, relatively inexpensive, and to be honest, many people out there genuinely enjoy it. Besides, if the choice is between running and not doing anything, do you really think not doing anything is healthier?
Now, there are ways to be smart about it, many of which I did not pay any attention to, which is at least partially why I ended up injured and needing surgery. So please, please learn from my mistakes!
- Good running shoes really do make a big difference. The shoes that they sell at Kohl's for $40 probably aren't going to provide enough support and cushioning to keep you healthy. Replace your shoes every 350 - 500 miles.
- Endurance comes before speed. If you're just starting out, don't worry about speed at first. Build up some of your endurance and some mileage - speed comes later.
- Stretching is important. Do it. You don't have to stretch right before you run, in fact stretching after you run is usually better because your muscles are warm, but make time to stretch.
- Take rest days. When you first start running, only go three or four times a week and take rest days in between. This gives your body a chance to recover from the new strains and stresses.
- Core strengthening - do it! Okay, I admit that I heard this advice, listened to how important it was, and still ignored it. One of the major reasons I had so many problems is that my core and support muscles were weak and I overcompensated with other muscles which led to the strain on my IT band (that's my very technical explanation). Core strengthening does not just mean abs and lower back! It also means hips and glutes. And spend time strengthening the hamstrings and quads, while you're at it. Bridges and wall squats are really good for this. If you don't know how to do these, call around to running stores, gyms, or orthopeodic centers until you find someone that can show you how to do them correctly. It's worth it! Yoga and pilates are also good options.
- Ramp up your mileage slowly. They say you should only increase your mileage by about 10% a week. So if I run four 3-mile runs one week for a total of 12 miles, the most I should add for the next week is an additional 1.2 miles.
- Listen to your body. If something hurts, stop running. Ice, rest and elevation are the best things you can do. Ice more often than you think you need to. Muscle soreness and minor pains are normal, but if something isn't normal, don't try to fool yourself that it is. Give yourself several days more than you think to recover. Then try again. If something isn't right, rest, ice, and elevate again. If it's still not right, see a doctor.
Okay, so none of those are mind-blowing, I know. Just another reiteration out there about things you've probably all heard. I also want to be very clear that I don't know anyone that was otherwise healthy that ran into serious issues only running a few miles a few times a week at a comfortable pace. Everyone I know that ended up with problems were training for long distances or really working to get faster. If you're not completely nuts like I was, you don't have nearly as much to worry about.
Despite the issues I've had, assuming my body recovers to the point that it's feasible, I will run again. This time I have a lot more knowledge to build from, which will hopefully prevent any serious injuries in the future. I love running, though, and despite the risks, it's the one form of exercise that I actually look forward to.
Friday, January 7, 2011
Under the Knife
I scheduled my surgery for December 16, 2010. It was about a month from my last doctor's appointment. As I left, Dr. Gondi assured me that they'd get me fixed up. I believed he was going to do everything he could, I just wasn't sure that it would work. The doctor had told me that he was usually able to resolve IT band problems with more conservative treatments, so I was already the exception. What if I was the exception after the surgery, too? I wanted to be optimistic, but I also wanted to be prepared for the worst.
That month was rough. I had gained about 12-15 pounds back over the last few months, and I was terrified that with the waiting period for my surgery and the recovery period afterwards, that would just continue to increase. I was mentally struggling to make good eating choices, and as half-hearted as my efforts were, I was at least trying to be reasonable. The other challenge was that this was all happening in the midst of the holiday eating season. Amazingly enough, though, I held steady at my 12 - 15 pound gain. I am very thankful it wasn't worse, but I also felt like I was at the brink of falling out of control and it was all I could do to hang on.
Surgery day arrived and it was cold and snowy, which isn't completely normal for my part of the country. But everything still ran on schedule. The highlight of the experience for me was the anesthesiologist. My mother had worn a Georgia Tech sweatshirt and it turned out that he was a University of Georgia grad. After some good-natured banter, I was wheeled into the operating room. He told me that since I went to GT, I should start counting down from 100 in prime numbers. I remember thinking that I couldn't count down from 100 in prime numbers because 100 wasn't a prime number itself, but I think all I articulated was that I couldn't count down from 100 in prime numbers. I'm sure that destroyed his opinion of GT grads!
I woke up feeling groggy and tired, but otherwise not too bad. I made it out to the car and into my parents' house without incident, despite the snow and ice. My knee ached, and I was very sleepy, but I was able to walk without crutches and my little dog, Abigail, stayed by my side the entire first day, so overall I was in pretty good shape.
Everything was looking good, but it was still just a matter of waiting to determine if the surgery would effectively resolve the problems I was having.
That month was rough. I had gained about 12-15 pounds back over the last few months, and I was terrified that with the waiting period for my surgery and the recovery period afterwards, that would just continue to increase. I was mentally struggling to make good eating choices, and as half-hearted as my efforts were, I was at least trying to be reasonable. The other challenge was that this was all happening in the midst of the holiday eating season. Amazingly enough, though, I held steady at my 12 - 15 pound gain. I am very thankful it wasn't worse, but I also felt like I was at the brink of falling out of control and it was all I could do to hang on.
Surgery day arrived and it was cold and snowy, which isn't completely normal for my part of the country. But everything still ran on schedule. The highlight of the experience for me was the anesthesiologist. My mother had worn a Georgia Tech sweatshirt and it turned out that he was a University of Georgia grad. After some good-natured banter, I was wheeled into the operating room. He told me that since I went to GT, I should start counting down from 100 in prime numbers. I remember thinking that I couldn't count down from 100 in prime numbers because 100 wasn't a prime number itself, but I think all I articulated was that I couldn't count down from 100 in prime numbers. I'm sure that destroyed his opinion of GT grads!
I woke up feeling groggy and tired, but otherwise not too bad. I made it out to the car and into my parents' house without incident, despite the snow and ice. My knee ached, and I was very sleepy, but I was able to walk without crutches and my little dog, Abigail, stayed by my side the entire first day, so overall I was in pretty good shape.
Everything was looking good, but it was still just a matter of waiting to determine if the surgery would effectively resolve the problems I was having.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
It all started when...
Most of my close friends know that I've gone through a major transformation in the last year and a half. I've struggled for most of my adult life with weight management. In the summer of 2009, I started Weight Watchers and also started running again (I picked up running off and on since I was in college). Over the course of about six months, I had lost 65 or so pounds and to my surprise, was actually sticking to a regular running regimen for a period of more than just a couple of months. I felt amazing, and I was enjoying the benefits of having a strong, healthy body for the first time since high school.
When I began running in 2009, my initial goal was to build up my stamina to run the Virginia 10-Miler in September of 2010. It seemed like a lofty goal when I could barely run half a mile without getting winded. I was surprised at how quickly my body was able to build up stamina, though, and I ended up running a 10-Miler in April of 2010. With that goal behind me, and with the entire summer to train, I set my sights on a much loftier goal: a marathon in October 2010.
I did my research, downloaded my training schedule, and stuck it to the refrigerator. I was doing great - sticking to my workouts, getting my long-runs in, focusing on my nutrition. For three months, I adhered to my schedule, building my long runs up to 18 miles, and I realized that I was going to be able to run 26.2 miles in another two months. I felt amazing!
Well, I mostly felt amazing. My right knee was the exception. I started noticing the pain when I was running down a big hill one day on a 10-mile run. Not a big deal - aches and pains are normal when you're putting that kind of strain on your body. I came home, took a few advil, and took it easy for the rest of the day.
The next day I went running again, and got the same pain in my knee. I cut my run short and came home and took some advil. I took it easy for a few days, thinking I would be fine after some rest. I didn't want to miss any long-runs, though, so at the end of the week, I laced up my shoes, grabbed my water bottle, and headed out the door for a 19-mile run. Eight miles in, the pain came back, but I kept going. That was the last time I was able to run.
After that, I tried again a few times, but the pain came back after about a mile and I would have to stop and go home. I knew it was a problem with my IT band, so I made an appointment with the orthopeodic center and they confirmed my fears. The marathon was out and running was on hold.
I worked with an amazing physical therapist for a month. Although I was following the program she created for me, I wasn't experiencing the relief I was looking for. After that, the doctor tried a cortizone shot - it worked for a couple of weeks, then all of a sudden, the pain increased. I couldn't walk down stairs, walk around the block, or even swim without pain in my knee.
I ended up stopping all forms of exercise - everything hurt! It was incredibly frustrating and I could feel myself slipping into a mild depression. I'm very goal-oriented, and I felt a little lost without a specific goal to be working towards. I also felt myself slipping back into my old eating habits. I struggled to keep off the weight I lost, but I still started putting a few pounds back on. I was terrified that without my ability to run and exercise, I would regain all the weight I had worked so hard to lose.
I went back to the doctor and he told me the one thing I didn't want to hear: my injury was going to require surgery. As much as I was looking forward to experiencing relief from the pain, I was also very nervous. Surgery was my last hope - if this didn't work, I was out of options.
With a lump in my stomach and barely holding back tears, I walked to the scheduling center and set the date.
I did my research, downloaded my training schedule, and stuck it to the refrigerator. I was doing great - sticking to my workouts, getting my long-runs in, focusing on my nutrition. For three months, I adhered to my schedule, building my long runs up to 18 miles, and I realized that I was going to be able to run 26.2 miles in another two months. I felt amazing!Well, I mostly felt amazing. My right knee was the exception. I started noticing the pain when I was running down a big hill one day on a 10-mile run. Not a big deal - aches and pains are normal when you're putting that kind of strain on your body. I came home, took a few advil, and took it easy for the rest of the day.
The next day I went running again, and got the same pain in my knee. I cut my run short and came home and took some advil. I took it easy for a few days, thinking I would be fine after some rest. I didn't want to miss any long-runs, though, so at the end of the week, I laced up my shoes, grabbed my water bottle, and headed out the door for a 19-mile run. Eight miles in, the pain came back, but I kept going. That was the last time I was able to run.
After that, I tried again a few times, but the pain came back after about a mile and I would have to stop and go home. I knew it was a problem with my IT band, so I made an appointment with the orthopeodic center and they confirmed my fears. The marathon was out and running was on hold.
I worked with an amazing physical therapist for a month. Although I was following the program she created for me, I wasn't experiencing the relief I was looking for. After that, the doctor tried a cortizone shot - it worked for a couple of weeks, then all of a sudden, the pain increased. I couldn't walk down stairs, walk around the block, or even swim without pain in my knee.
I ended up stopping all forms of exercise - everything hurt! It was incredibly frustrating and I could feel myself slipping into a mild depression. I'm very goal-oriented, and I felt a little lost without a specific goal to be working towards. I also felt myself slipping back into my old eating habits. I struggled to keep off the weight I lost, but I still started putting a few pounds back on. I was terrified that without my ability to run and exercise, I would regain all the weight I had worked so hard to lose.
I went back to the doctor and he told me the one thing I didn't want to hear: my injury was going to require surgery. As much as I was looking forward to experiencing relief from the pain, I was also very nervous. Surgery was my last hope - if this didn't work, I was out of options.
With a lump in my stomach and barely holding back tears, I walked to the scheduling center and set the date.
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